Summer 2008 Vids y Mas 6

Work Safety is important



fun with the Wii



Berryman Works out



The Bootyful Game



Acrobatic Goals



Kobe is a Jackass

One of these things is not like the other-

Lets see if you can spot the differences in these two pictures of the same soccer team called the HFA Moyas

The official Moya team picture from the HFA Website...




The team we played in the tourney



Someone served alcohol to minors...

and where did all the brothers go

Cinco de Mayo 2008 Tournament Summary

**notice how Lil Payne fucks up the picture by standing up**

Game 1 FSFC vs Anteaters 2 8:00

• Holy shit, we had eleven bodies ready to play at 8:00 am
• Nate gives up a really really soft PK 5 minutes into the match, however #19 distracts the shooter by calling him a fat boy, and Ken eats up the shot.
• PBlische puts the ball to a wide open Romo's foot at the 12 and Romo's deftly strikes the ball straight up into the air, the ump calls infield fly, but our friend Opie is in net and the ball floats towards the goal, he drops the ball, tries to catch it again and knocks it into the net. FSFC 1 Ants 0
• Game flows well and the FSFC are impersonating a good soccer team
• Paul gets a ball in the box dribbles around for a bit, and passes the ball easily into then net
• FSFC 2 Ants 0 Halftime
• Highlight of halftime is Nate learning that our old buddy Opie and his purple flowered keepers shirt is in the net
• KBlische puts this one away early in the 2nd half as he dribbles thru a couple and puts his shot into the side netting
• FSFC 3 Ants 0
  
• Berrybodo goes in at forward-
  
• Give up a really soft goal as the clock expires
  
• FSFC 3 Ants 1 Final
  

Goals: Romo 1(1) Paul 1(1) Kblische 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 1(1)

GAME 2 FSFC vs NPTSA Guiness 11:00

• This game was over when Raquetball Man began warming
  
• Minutes in, Lance puts a ball right on Romo's head who bangs home the header 1-0
• Trex misses from the 6
• Kblische comes up from FB to show Trex how to shoot and rolls one past the keeper 2-0
• Lance dribbles free and gets 1v1 with Raquetball man, flips it over his head, trots past him and slots his shot past the keeper. Lance would later express feelings of guilt and remorse for abusing the Raquetball man. 3-0
• Lance gets loose in the box and beats two players takes it down to the endline, crosses the ball off of Berrymans foot and into the net- 4-0*
• Halftime 4-0 and Migjet is suiting up
• Pblische makes his first appearance and tops it off by beating the keeper with a back heel 5-0
• Complete line change for the final 20 minutes- Migjet gets significant PT
  
• Kendall finally gets a header to go in 6-0
• Final FSFC 6 NPTSA Guiness 0
• 0 Shots on goal
  

Goals: Romo 1(2) Lance 2(2) Kblische 1(2) Pblische 1(1) Kendall 1(1)

Game 3 FSFC vs HFA Kingwood FC

• Game 3 and the FSFC need to lose by 3 or face the prospect of advancing to Sunday
• The Anteaters gather around our field to cheer on the opponents, taunting the FSFC with their beer
• The Kingwood Futbol Cunts begin their pissing and moaning from the first whistle
• Pblische gets the scoring started early as he corrals a lose ball and hits a rocket from 25 that scalds the net FSFC 1 Futbol Cunts 0
• Prince valium gets absolutely lambasted in the box as he goes up for a header in the box against Barnes, Nate and #19- then loses his mind yelling at the ref.
• Lance gets a breakaway and puts the metal to the pedal and scores a goal by shooting it off of Berryman once again 2-0
• Prince Valium delays the game for 5 minutes after getting a card and being asked to not return to the pitch
• 2-0 Halftime- Ref is upset that the Anteaters are rooting against the Fading Stars and taunting every play
• The Fading Stars put i tin cruise control for the second half as unfortunately a Sunday appearance seems eminent
• Lance crushes a free kick from the 22 out that easily beats the keeper 3-0
  
• Barnes gets tangled up with a puerto rican, and is lucky to escape a saturday afternoon knife fight. PR gets tossed when he calls Barnes overweight
• Fading Stars 3 Houston Tittie Babies 0

Goals: Pblische 1(2) Lance 2(4)

Cinco Cinco De Mayo Mudbug Massacre 2008

• 80lbs of mudbugs dead and eaten
• 40lbs of ribs dead and eaten
• 1 Keg of shiner dead and bloated
• German chick drinks her blueberry beer
• Barnes leaves early with a pouty face
  
• Spurs get annihilated
• Lance almost walks into the spa
• 19's 10 year old nephew Cody out eats lasts years Mudbug champion
• #19 Jr eats a piece of corn that may have been a little bit spicy, and child protective services are notified
• Some other team invades the party, but are excused b/c they showed some leg
  
• Next year we will add a keg of water to the menu

Semi-Finals FSFC vs SASA Rayados 8:30

• Who was the asshole that thought it was a good idea to have a party the night before?
• Rumour has it that someone puked before in a nearby field before game time
• Rumour has it that when eating mudbugs, you should wash your hands before pissing
• Just before kickoff, Nate relays a story of a certain player puking pre-game and having remnants of beef ribs in his beard while warming up. Kendall proceeds to have a nice dry heave
• TRex washes away the shanks from his jersey
• Game gets off to a really slow start, as everyone is really hurting and no one wants to run with the ball.
• TRex gets lose on a ball and pounds it in the back of the net 1-0
• Fading Stars win a corner kick and Paul crosses a beauty that Kendall goes old school on and rips the header past the helpless keeper 2-0
• Ken pulls a Ken and absolutely destroys the Rayados player on a breakaway, but the guy gets the shot off and Nate clears it off of the endline. Would have been defensive play of the tournament, except for the PK that was awarded. This time the PK is successful 2-1
  
• Halftime
• 2nd half begins as does the Pblische breakaway missed shot fest
  
• Barnes shanks a pass in the back that pops up in the air and heads towards the box, Nate goes up to clear, gets wiped out by the Rayados player and somehow the ball caroms into the net 2-2
  
• TRex gets back on the board with a blast from inside the 18 3-2
  
• Barnes decides to takeout the flag post, permanently disabling it
• Ball gets worked up the left side of the Rayados half, Paul brings it up to the 18 doesn't like what he sees, pulls the ball out to restart the offense. Paul passes it to #19 who swings it to the middle to Kblische, Kblische hits Pblische on a run to the right. Pblische brings it down the right side and crosses to the 6 where #19 flys in from the PK spot to knock it home 4-2
  
• FSFC run out the clock and have a birth in the finals

Goals: TRex 2(2) Kendall 1(2) #19 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 2(3)
The Finals FSFC vs HFA Moya

• Fading Stars ask the game to be moved to next week
• Fans, we got fans
• Looks like 4 games, gluttoney and unabaited alcohol abuse have finally taken its toll on the bodies of the Fading Stars causing everyone to be about 3 steps slower
• Opening minutes, #19 steals a ball on the Moya's end line, dribbles into the box and passes to a wide open TRex who hammers a shot right at the keeper
  
• The Moyas begin to use their youth and attack in droves- Ken staves off the first attacks until one of the slippery fuckers gets free in the middle and cracks a shot from 25 yards out that hits side netting. 0-1
• Paul hits a free kick from about 20- ball bounces off the wall, #19 gets a touch on it that deflects to Romo who shanks the open shot
• Ryan/Kneals runs to the ball clears it and knocks the shit out of a little guy- Kneals picks up a yellow for calling it a shitty call
• Moyas bring it down the right side, #19 makes the defensive tackle but the ball pops free to the player who then takes on Lance and loses only to have the ball pop free again, then he crosses to the six where the ball is somehow shouldered into the net 0-2
• Lance chases down a ball and knocks it off the defender winning the corner kick- Lance plays it to Romo at the top of the box ball gets knocked around, Paul chases it down beats the defender and beats the keeper. Fading stars finally on the board 1-2
• Halftime
• Fading Stars start to put it together and begin to control tempo and pretty much stonewall their offense
• Several good opportunities arise, but the ball doesn't want to go in the net
• With about 20 minutes left in the game, Bergman commits a very questionable foul in the box resulting in a PK. Ken saves the PK but the rebound goes right to the shooter who scores it. 1-3
• With 5 minutes left, FnJ the Human Victory Cigar enters the game, ending all hope of a championship
• Final FSFC 1 HFA Moya 3

Goals Paul 1(2)
Allowed Ken 3(5)
Yellow Cards - Barnes 1(1) Kneal 1(1) Kendall 1(1)

Tournament Stats and Awards

Goals
Lance 4
Kblische 2
TRex 2
Romo 2
Paul 2
Pblische 2
Kendall 2
#19 1

Allowed
Ken 6
2 Shutouts
2 PK saves

PK Fouls
Nate 1
Ken 1
Bergman 1

Yellow Cards
Barnes 1 for #19 pushing a player
Kneals 1 for telling the ref he is full of shit
Kendall 1 for destroying a Moya on the sideline

Quotes of Note

When discussing the prospect of PK shootouts- Lance delivers this bomb "Well we better sub out Hunter then"

When warming up for the 2nd game, Paul delivers the "when I was wiping my ass this morning I got a little terd under my nail"

Nate speaking to Kendall- " #19 puked in the bushes over their, and when he came to warm up he had puke in his beard- Kendall "Stop, oh god bllllllhhh"

When #19 Jr arrives at the pitch and cries when running to #19- Berryman Quips "I would cry too if that were my daddy"

Offensive MVPs- Lance and Paul- 6 combined goals and probably 5 assists - Hard to pick between the two as they changed the offense

Defensive MVP- Nate- Other than the PK in the first 5 minutes, Nater controlled the back half of the pitch

Foul of the Tourney- Kendall- Late in the Finals, a tired Kendall decides to get his moneys worth and tees off on a player just like the old days

Churchill Post of the Tourney- Only 1- Lance flicks a header that decides its resting place was not the net but instead the post

Newcomer of the Tourney- Ryan/Kneals- starting to play more and more like Nate

Crawfish MVP- some wanted Trex's brother to win, but the award is more about heart than stomach. Awhite is the winner for showing up @ 12:00 to polish off the last of em after spending the night at the hospital.

Churchill Flag Girl of the Tourney- Barnes- I don't think I have ever seen metal bend like that before

Goat of the Tourney- Age

Pussy of the Tourney- Pblische- Skipping the finals to play/finish 2nd in the girls tourney. Could have been a hero, could have been a hero.

Goal of the Tourney- #19's- did you really think I was going to write all of this shit and not mark out to myself?

Special Thanks to
Migjet for coaching us to our first finals berth
Lance and Paul for spending their weekend playing with a bunch of hacks
Barnes for returning from shitty Dallas for the tourney and Betsy for making him actually run in preparation
#19's Wife for letting her house get used for the Mudbug Massacre
Kendall- for conning Lance and Paul into thinking that we are a good team
Nater and Ryan- for packing the stands and the goal box
Girl in the sports bra- thanks
Alex from Budweiser for donating 7 cases of beer
Walldog and future mrs walldog for flying in from Dallas to eat dem mudbugs
TRex's Mom for getting us those beautiful shirts for cheap
The lock on my bathroom door, had it worked Ken would have gotten a blow job in the sanctity of my home

and finally to Carlos and Gary for putting on a hell of a tourney

See you cock smokers next year