Summer 1 2009 Game 8 FSFC 7 SA Old Boys 1

Schertz Soccer Complex Field No. 12 6.28.09

9:00 a.m. SA Old School vs Fading Stars

• In the pregame meeting with Gary, he announces that this is a new/old team that is just starting- #19 thanks Gary for the cupcake as things have been rough
• FSFC roll out a makeshift lineup with 6 idiots still putting on their boots- Old School runs out 9 plus a goalie- 10 if you count the really fat guy
  
• Once things settle in it becomes apparent that Old Skool is going to run a trap all the way up to midfield- not the best idea when playing without a left hb
• Section 1 for Jacobs and Darilek: 6 offsides later the FSFC break thru and #19 gets 1v1 with the keeper who slides at #19 who plays the ball wide, jumps and the keeper grabs his ankle- #19 keeps going and by the time he gets the ball he bodo'd his angle to shoot- #19 drops it to a wide open Jihad who misses the shot
• FSFC keep pressing and eventually the ball ends up on the boot of CRex who shoots, gets it blocked, recovers the ball, knocks it around, then finally CHIPS a left footer into the upper 90 1-0 FSFC
• Old School keep pressing offensively and really aren't paying much attention to defense-
• Section 2 for Jacobs and Darilek - FSFC win a corner in the box- #19 chases the ball 40 yards onto the other field and is forced to run all the way back to the corner to take the kick. #19 takes a beautiful bending corner- of course the ball was sposed to start bending at the endline and not the 18- anyways Old School easily transitions the ball all the way to the FSFC 18 where they fuck it up- Are you two ass clowns happy?
• FSFC keep defending and getting called offsides
• Jacobs gets a yellow card for sexually harrasing an old school player
  
• Finally a ball dangerous ball gets played into the box and the keeper chargers it, collides with his own defender and ABobby1, the ball pops loose and is corralled by the sweeper inside the 6, #19 pressures the sweeper who is able to dribble wide of the goal and he clears the ball right into a jumping #19's Ass- Ball takes a sweet carom off of the freshly shaved right butt and it is massed perfectly into the net- ASS GOAL 1 FSFC 1 Old School 0
• Halftime FSFC 2 Old School 0
• FSFC Make it Rain
• Biz gets loose down the right half, beats his last defender and puts a beauty cross into the box- #19 chests the ball down and slots the ball between the charging keeper and defender into the net- FSFC 3 Hangover was funnier 0
• ABobby1 gets loose outside the 18, dribbles some folks and unleashes a low cracker that easily beats the keeper 4-0
• Biz gets loose down the right half again, beats his defender and crosses only this time his cross is a low spinner that somehow finds its way an inch inside the post 5-0
• Old School play the kickoff deep to their forward who easily beats 3 defenders and a lethargic keeper 5-1
• Bergman decides to get into the goal fray and starts pushing up from the sweeper spot- Awhite plays a ball to Bergman who takes it deep in the box and lays the ball back to the 18 where #19 one times the pass into the netting 6-1
• Jacobs starts getting into it with the old school forward that scored- forward fouls the shit out of Jacobs on 50/50 ball- they kiss and make up
• Jihad gets sprung- did i mention they were still trapping at midfield? Jihad is ahead of the defender and all that is between him and goal is green dirt and the keeper- Keeper charges and Jihad hits a beauty chip that hits center netting 7-1
• Up 7-1 Romo insists that we start practicing getting called offsides some more
• Old School counters and Jacob's favorite forward is bringing the ball across the 18- Berryman fouls the shit out of the forward causing him to collapse like a pile of shit the guy grabs the ball with his hands and Jacobs decides that clearing the ball is the appropriate play- Jacobs kicks the ball while it is in his hands and it finds a nice resting spot on the guys nose-
  
• He gets up pushes Jacobs, does the manly wait for my teamates to grab me before talking shit move- Both get yellow cards and Jacobs gets a red card up 7-1
• FINAL FSFC 7 SA Old School 1

Lineup

GK Ken Blische
FB Bergman
FB Berryman
ST/SW Darilek
CM CRex
CM ABobby1
HB Bobby2
HB Biz
F #19
F Jihad

Bench
Jacobs
Berardo
AWhite
Romo
Kneals

Goals: #19 3(6) ABobby1 1(1) CRex 1(1) Jihad 1(2) Biz 1(2)
Assts: Biz 2(3) AWhite 1(1) Bergman 1(1)
GAllowed: Ken Blische 1(11)

Cards
Yellow Pills Jacobs 1(1)
Red Pills: Jacobs 1(1)

Awards n Shit

• This is much easier to write after a win
• The offense woke up- about fucking time
  

Offensive MVP: Biz- 2 Assists and a cross/goal
Defensive MVP: Berryman for getting Jacobs tossed
Tackle of the Game: Berryman- the dirty slide tackle that led to the ejection of Jacobs
Goal of the Game: The ASS GOAL- GAME WINNER
Goat of the Game: #19 for the Beasley like corner that damn near led to a goal
Pussy of the Game: Bobby2- a pink fucking chair to sit in? next thing you know you are gonna be rooting for that fag school in Austin while wearing your PETA shirt and petting your My Little Pony doll
Asshole of the Game: Jacobs- how the fuck do you get tossed from a game up 7-1?





Goals
#19 3(6) Alex 1(1) Cblische 1(1) Jihad 1(2) Biz 1(2)
Assts: Biz 2(3) AWhite 1(1) Bergman 1(1)

Summer 1 2009 FSFC 1 Military FC 3

NEYSO Specht Rd. Complex Field No. 9 6.21.09

9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Military FC

• For the first time in a long time the FSFC have 13 people at the pitch for the kickoff- helps that the game was delayed 6 minutes for the Military boys- Game starts 9 v 11
• #19 plays the opening tap to Romo, Romo passes to Bobby1, Bobby 1 dribbles two defenders plays a thru ball to #19 who runs it down inside the 18 and rips a wicked toe poke that catches the keeper napping 1-0 - 19 seconds in
  
• Game settles down after that- FSFC fail to put the hammer down as the ball spends too much time on the outside halfs
• Military FC bring on their full load of players and the game is pretty even, however the FSFC offense is still stuck in the season long sputter as several people still don't understand the offsides rule
• Glass Darilek goes out with another boo boo and the middle of the defense collapses- Military play a cross to the top of the 18 to the wide open CM who turns and shoots giving Ken zero chance at the side netter 1-1
• Minutes before halftime the Military HB plays a sky ball to FSFC 35, Jacobs mistimes his jump, the ball lands at the feet of the forward who takes off on a breakaway- Ken is unable to get down on the shot and the game is now 2-1 Military
• Halftime
  
• FSFC take control of possesion and work the ball effectively around the pitch- Big weakness in the defense on the Military right side as the HB refused to cross midfield-
• Bobby2 starts to exploit this winning multiple balls eventually Bobby2 gets off a beauty cross to #19 at the 12 who puts the bounding cross on target but without enough cayanned giviing the an easy save
• Jihad gets loose down the left side of the box and is 1v1 with the keeper- his shot goes so wide that Bobby1 tries to run the ball down but can't and its a throw in
• Awhite takes over for Bobby2 on the right half and continues the onslaught- Awhite crosses to #19 at the top of the box who sends a ball into the box where Bobby1 and Bodo fight over the loose ball with Bodo winning the ball and getting off a shot that the keeper gets a finger tip on and the ball misses by 2 inches
• Down 2-1 with about 15 minutes left, FSFC win a corner from the left side- Berardo, playing Left FB decides to take the kick leaving only Darilek and Tommy back at midfield- 9 men pushed up and you can guess the result
• Berardos corner is played high and too far out and is easily cleared by Military defender who plays it to midfield and the race is on- The entire left side of the pitch is vacant except for 2 Military players and a 5 v 1 situation ends in the third goal 3-1
• FSFC try to comeback, AWhite gets loose again down the right side, passes to #19 who passes to a wide open Bobby1 inside the 18- Bobby1's first touch is too rough and he is forced to settle the ball down before shooting wide of the net
• All she wrote
  
• FSFC 1 Military FC 3

Lineup Bench

GK Ken Bodo
FB Berardo AWhite
FB Bergman Tommy
SW Jacobs
ST Darilek
HB Bobby2
HB Jihad
CM Kneals
CM Bobby1
F #19
F Romo

---

Goals #19 1(3)
Assts Bobby1 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 3(10)

Cards- None Fucking Amazing to have an English speaking ref

---

Awards n Shit

Offensive MVP: Bobby1and Bobby2
Defensive MVP: Jacobs- but not by much
Quote of the Game: Ken- During the halftime dance contest- something about dancing a Jig and the other team
Goat of the Game: Bodo- showing up right at 9 and forgetting your boots
Goal of the Game: Toe Poker
Tackle of the Game: Berardo and his spinning crane kick

Summer 1 2009 Vids y Mas 6

Dear Abby,

So this chick with long legs and a sweet round ass walks in to the restaurant yesterday (sounds like the beginning of a joke)and of course I had to check to make sure her food was okay. She turned out to be Puerto Rican and a stripper at an all nude place in Austin. Needless to say I invited her out for drinks later. Being the classy guy that I am I had her meet me at Fiasco's for some beer 'n tequila. (Closer to the casa than Waldo's) After feeding her a couple of shots I was getting tired of her constant babbling but did I mention the sweet Peurto Rican ASS! Back to my place we went and down to business. She even carried on a conversation while getting stuck from behind! Amazing! Somewhere during the night I rolled over on my nice king size bed to pass out as she was still babbling when out came the quote of the night that made me feel like I had picked up a Hooter's girl. Just as I was almost out I heard, "Did this use to be a waterbed?" Yes I was too tired to start the "What the fuck are you talking about?" conversation. Since sticking her again in the morning and sending her on her merry way I have been perplexed by that question and am wondering if there is some type of conversion kit that I am not aware of or if she was truly, let's say Hooter's minded. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
signed,
Disease Free in Saytown

The state of US Soccer



This doosh needs to turn in the #19 kit



Dear Casey Kasem, I have a white friend that needs inpiration, please play Caucasian for Romo

Summer 1 2009 FSFC 3 Los Bomberos 3

NEYSO Specht Rd. Complex Field No. 15 6.14.09

9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Los Bomberos

• FSFC start the adventure with 6 field players for a good 10 minutes and don't even give up a shot
• Bobby2 saunters to the field, puts on his tennis shoes and makes 7
• AWhite and Bodo arrive smelling of cheap booze and robster craws giving us 9
  
• FSFC get the first shot of the game as Bobby2 gets loose on a long ball and misses wide by inches
• Still no shots for the Los Bomberos when TRex finally gets to the pitch
• Now we can play- TRex settles a ball at the 18 and hits a crack that the keeper dives to save,
• Jihad corrals the rebound and shoots it on frame, cleared by the defender right to Bodo who tucks the loose ball inside the post 1-0
• FSFC have done the impossible leading at halftime after playing short for 25+ minutes
• Halftime 1-0
• 2nd half and no subs, but hey we have 11- Things are under control defensively as the Bomberos can't do shit
• Handball is ruled at midfield giving the FSFC a free kick- Berardo chips a thru ball over the offsides trap and TRex runs on to the ball and has a straight line to the keeper- for once TRex doesn't fuck it up and buries his shot 2-0.
• The game is on cruise control, Trex starts taking players to dribbling school and misses by inches on a nice shot- game is over as the Bomberos still have zero scoring chances... and the the fun begins
  
• #19 is called for a foul on a 50/50 ball in the air- The player #19 fouled , The Twat, decides to start talking shit and puts his finger in #19's face
• #19 knocks the Twats hand down and the Twat kicks #19- Referee runs over gives the Twat a pink card then gives #19 a pink card for getting kicked-
  
• Down to 9 field players and the defense falls apart-
  
• Bomberos get a deep throw in that makes its way into the box where it skims off of Kblische's leg and past Ken for a goal 2-1
• 2 minutes later the Bomberos get a corner kick and somehow they manage to ping pong the ball into the net 2-2
  
• 5 minutes later, the Bomberos take the ball down the left side, cross to the middle where Berryman intercepts and clears the ball 4 yards and right to a Bombero player- who takes out a pen and paper writes Berryman a thank you note as he taps the ball in the net 2-3
• Last minute of the game and Kblische goes on a dribbling rampage and eventually draws a foul jsut outside the 18
• Kblische covered in nervous sweat linesup the his potential game saving shot resting on size 7 Ronaldihno replica shoes-
• Kblische hits his shot right into the fucking wall- game over thanks for nothing
• But wait theres more, order now and you we will throw in the ball rebounding right to Kblische who pops a floater at the goal that drifts like a monarch butterfly searching for a place to die and gently landing in the side netting- 3-3
• Final FSFC 3 Los Bomberos 3

Goals: Bodo 1(1) Trex 1(2) Kblische 1(3)
Assists: Berardo 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 3(7)

Red Pills: #19 1(1)
Yellow Pills: AWhite 1(1)

AWARDS and Shit

• Starting with 6 and ending with 8 (Tommy got hurted) 3-3 ain't a bad result
• Offensive MVP- Trex- the dribbling clinic was nice
• Defensive MVP- Kblische- despite the own goal playing short ain't fun
• Pussy of the Game- Darilek- its my birthday I don't want to play
  
• Goat of the Game- #19 getting kicked and tossed spoiled the party
• Goal of the Game- Kblische and his well planned free kick
  

Linuep

GK Ken
ST/SW Kblische
FB Tommy
FB Berryman
CM Jihad
CM Berardo
CM #19

Bench
Bobby2
AWhite
Bodo
TRex

Summer 2009 Vids y Mas 4

NEYSO Specht Rd. Complex Field No. 15 6.14.09

9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Los Bomberos

Summer 1 2009 Game 5 FSFC 3 Medina Utd 4

NEYSO Specht Rd. Complex Field No. 15 6.7.09

4:00 p.m. Fading Stars vs Medina United FC

• Per the outstanding attendance and performance all of games will be played at 4 pm from here on out
• First 20 minutes the game is played exclusively on the left half of the field and the ball is kicked out of bounds 46 times
• Water Break- yay
• After the water break a refreshed Romo makes a nice trap and shimmey shake and plays the ball to #19 who easily beats the sweeper and heads inside the 18 where a charging keeper is no match for #19's power shot that makes Lance's PKs look like a changeup 1-0
• Did I mention the 3rd string goalkeeper, Biz, yet? b/c he just might be the main character in this yarn
• FSFC defense makes the mistake of pulling a trap and getting the offsides call. Biz lines up to take the free kick and hits a 1 hopper a whopping 20 yards to a wide open opposing player who makes an easy trap and shoots at the open goal. Biz scrambles to get the shot and punches it right into the upper 90 1-1
• Multiple opportunities arise with closing the rate of Berryman's only pick up line- Julio misses a wide open header off a beautiful cross- Heading to half tied at 1
• 2nd Half and Kendall loses the battle for last on the field as Bodo once again tried his sneak on the field bullshit
• Kblische gets the ball in the middle and tries to run the play that always works dumping the ball to #19 and getting the return pass- Kblische choofs the pass but #19 is able to recover and slot a thru ball to a wide open Kblische who shoots a skipper from the top of the 18 that beats the keeper 2-1
• More goalie fun as Medina play a cross into the box that Biz gets a foot on and the ball spins backwards to an offsides Medina player that taps in the goal. Cluster fuck goals 2 FSFC 2
• Julio gets loose on a flick from #19 chips the keeper and the ball is on target for the middle of the goal. The ball takes a wicked bounce clearing the post by a good 5 feet
• Kblische takes a free kick from the FSFC 35 and the Medina midfielders are running a trap at midfield- Kblische hits Julio perfectly and he goes 1v1 with the keeper, the keeper gets a foot on the ball but Julio is able to recover and walk the ball into the net 3-2
• Shitty Goal #3- Ball gets crossed into the box, Kneals calls for the ball to clear- Bergman keeps running at the ball and Kneals hits the clear and Bergman once again manages to get his hand on the ball in the box- PK good 3-3
• Romo gets his head on a corner and manages to hit it right to the keeper- Medina counters and a guy shoots from 25 yards that is deflected by AWhite and the ball ends up upper 90 past the Biz 4-3 FINAl

Awards and Shit

• Offensive MVP- Jihad- dominated the left half in the 2nd half of the game
• Defensive MVP- Hard to give when you give up 4 but Darilek wins out of pity
• BeerVP- Kneals- almost lost it by leaving the beer in the car until after the game
• Goat of the Game- BIZ- Giving it to the Biz gives me great pleasure and sadness all at the same time just like sneaking the pinkie while watching HBO's acclaimed series Cathouse
  

Lineup

GK Biz
FB Bergman
FB Berryman
SW Kendall
ST Darilek
HB Jihad
HB Bobby2
CM Julio
CM Kneals
F #19
F Kblische

Bench
Tommy
Awhite
TRex
Romo

Summer 1 2009 Game 4 FSFC vs Rangers FC

Schertz Soccer Complex Field No. 12 5.31.09

11:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Rangers FC

• Things look good as purple clad Opie is in the net
  
• Bodo is intimidated by the girl playing fullback
• Rangers are short players and Carlos sends over a 6'3 black guy to play striker for the Rangers which arouses Jacobs
  
• Game is ugly as the FSFC control the ball but struggle with that offsides thing
• Ball gets played towards right FB Berryman who makes a valiant effort to play the ball after tripping on his own feet- Forward ends up on a breakaway that Ken comes out gets the ball then as usual tackles the forward- no penalty for once
  
• #19 gathers a loose ball and hits a cross to Biz inside the 18- Biz brings the ball down, barely beats the 5'3 girl and passes to Jihad at the 12 who tucks the ball around the Purple keeper eater and just inside the post- FSFC 1 Rangers 0
• This is Jihads first goal in 10 months 3 days or a total of 307 days and 35 games- that is a hell of an accomplishment if it measuring JP and sobriety
• More offsides, more Romo yelling to play horizontal- Bodo gets loose 1v1 and Opie makes an easy save
• Halftime 1-0
• FSFC play with better possesion as the Rangers have all but given up any hope of beating the wall of Jacobs and Darilek
• Julio goes 1v1 with the girl FB and she stuffs his ass then wags her finger in his face like Dikembe Moutumbo
• Transition time as Jacobs gets a loose one in the FS box, plays a ball down the sideline that #19 saves from going out and hits Trex just past midfield. Trex takes on the defender then brings the ball into the box, and performs a perfect Bodo dribble off of the sweeper and back to his feet- Low shot near post beats Opie with ease. 2-0
  
• Nothing else happens of consequence
• Much needed victory but the offense still sucks

Goals: Jihad 1(1) Trex 1(1)
Assts: Biz 1(1) #19 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 0(4)
Cards: None

Offensive MVP: Jihad- 307 days without scoring- Berryman doesn't go that long between hookers
Defensive MVP: Jacobs- Ken had an easy day and Darileks ego can't handle this award
Goal of the Game: Jihad 10 months 3 days is a jail sentence for indecent exposure
WTF of the Game: Check out Bobby1 in this picture- Moobs on a skinny guy?
Quote of the Game: Biz- when 10 cars leave the fields causing a dust storm with 10 yards of visibility- "At least Jihad won't have trouble driving in this shit"

Lineup
GK Ken
FB Berryman
FB Bergman
SW Jacobs
ST Darilek
HB Biz
HB Jihad
CM Julio
CM Romo
F #19
F Bodo

Bench
Bobby2
Bobby1
Trex
Berardo

Summer 1 2009 Links y Mas 3

Nasty Headbutt



More proof that baseball players prefer balls




Maggots Michael, You're eating Maggots.



FSFC are implementing a new FNG initiation practice

Summer 2009 Vids y Mas 2

Blades Secret weapon is a wizard

Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

A certain Blades players will be performing at halftime




Kendall submits his new favorite movie



Darilek works on gun safety



$50 says Ken gives up a goal just like this

Cinco de Mayo 2009 Summary

12 Steps to Ending the Bridesmaid Tradition

• Step 1 - We admit we were powerless over our addiction to 2nd place - that our games had become unmanageable and that drinking 3 Kegs and 120lbs of mudbugs is ok
• Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity- next year we will have better drugs and a massage therapist
  
• Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of MigJet as we understood MigJet- this means Hooters, El Jarro and trists with employees
  
• Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves- some of us are old, some slept in, some drank too much, some abandoned the team for the finals.
  
• Step 5 - Admitted to #19, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs- missed breakaways, missed PK, weak shots, brilliant shots hitting posts, shots from Lance missing by inches, a psychotic goal keeper.
  
• Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character- nah I like you fuckers the way you are
  
• Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings- don't think God can help us here
  
• Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all- this one is directed at Paul for telling a kid he has cum all over his face
  
• Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others- Fuck em- pain is good to inflict
  
• Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it- fuck this one too
  
• Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out- still don't think God can help us
  
• Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs- More beer, more mudbugs and more football
  

Game 1 FSFC 2 vs SASA Aztecas 2
Specht 11 @ 9:30

• late arrivals make the lineup easy-
• thoroughly enjoyed the Azteca dooshbag doing Tai Chi to warm up for the game
• we give up the first goal on a counter attack that a rusty unit wasn't ready to defend and the FSFC find themselves down 1-0 early on
• FSFC get a free kick that Kendall hammers from midfield, #19 chests the ball down inside the 18 and lays it off to Kblische who mishits his shot so bad the keeper dives the wrong to the far post and the ball rolls into the middle of the net 1-1 halftime
• Halftime adjustments are made and the FSFC start kicking the shit out of the pretty boys-
• Lance gets loose inside the 18 and crosses over the middle to a wide open Pblische who brings the ball down and scorches a shot into the side netting 2-1
• 10 minutes left and the game is under control- FSFC earn a PK to put the game away and coach Charlie Weiss decides to leave it up to his star QB Jimmy "Paul" Clausen to put the game on ice.
• Keeper dives to his right, ball goes to the keepers left and keeps going past the post and into the parking lot.
• Fuck you Charlie Weiss even the rubber band in your stomach hates you- all future PK's will be taken by uber muscular pretty boy Brady Quinn
• Under 3 minutes left and 1 last gasp for the Aztecas- Kblische decides to double team the ball and the offensive player pass splits Kblische and Ryan to a wide open player. Darilek makes a stab but gets beaten and the guy shoots from an impossible angle and roofs it 2-2
• Final FSFC 2 Aztecas 2 1 Point and a 2 points lost
  

Goals- Kblische 1(1) Pblische 1(1)
Assts- #19 1(1) Pablo 1(1)
Allowed- Ken 2

Game 2 FSFC 2 vs HFC International 1
Specht 11 @ 12:30

• Houston teams are the best at crying
• FSFC get on the board after #19 draws a foul outsid the right edge of the 18. Paul plays a beauty chip to the far post that Lance heads in. Amazingly Lance was left wide open or was it the pull block of the guard Kendall that did that. 1-0
  
• Late in the half TRex gets loose from midfield chasing the ball like it was a wounded triceratops- Trex makes a nice cut and finds Lance who brings down the high pass, gets whacked but still hits rips his shot off the crossbar, off the field number and straight down 2-0 Halftime
• 2nd half, the Houston team comes out with a vengeance and pushes the pace of play
• They eventually score on Ken- don't remember and the FSFC hold on for a 2-1 win
• 2 GAME 4 points tied for 1st
  

Goals: Lance 2(2)
Assts: Pablo 1(2)
Allowed: Ken 1(3)

Game 3 FSFC 2 vs CSHA Entrix Guvners 1
Specht 10 @ 3:30

• Win or a tie and the FSFC advance to Sunday
  
• Lance decides to sit this one out with a bum ankle and let the more talented players handle this one
• FSFC seem relaxed so much so that there is zero talking on the pitch
• First great scoring opportunity goes to the FSFC as Paul hits a beautiful corner that finds a wide open #19 on the back post- the ball was so beautiful #19 decided that the best way to score was to nose the ball towards the goal then catch it. Apparently that is against the rules or something
• Inspired by his brilliant heading display #19 decides that the first one was too easy and a more difficult opportunity is all that is needed
• Minutes before halftime the ball is skied in the air at about the 18 keeper runs out calling for the ball- #19 levitates over the taller defender and the oncoming keeper and using the nose on the top of his head gets the ball rolling towards the empty net eventually finding its way into the goal It was a dream come true as #19 hasn't had that much hang time since dominating Double Dribble
  
• 1-0 Halftime
• Multiple chances are missed by the FSFC to put this one away- Paul lets loose on a shot from 25 that destroys the post
• #19 and Hunter get thrown off the pitch for a wee bit of shit talking with the "sweeper"
  
• Guvner forward gets the ball at the 18, turns on Kendall and rips it thru his 5 hole and beats Ken for the goal 1-1
• Minutes later they ring the post and almost take the lead
• Tied with under 10 minutes left, Berardo tapes up Lance and 30 seconds into his playing time he hits a header off the post
• Bobby1 gets loose 1v1 vs the last defender and plays the ball around him and the defender bats the ball down with his hand. PK awarded
• Brady Quinn er Lance steps up to the spot and hammers a fucking 95mph blast just right of center that the keeper never sees
• 2-1 Final
  
• Day 1 complete 2-0-1 7 points and moving on
  

Goals: #19 1(1) Lance 1(3)
Allowed: Ken 1(4)

6th annual Mudbug Massacre:
Party gets off to a disaterous start as 6 oclock hits and the first guests arrive. No kegs, no mudbugs, no wings. Migjet brings a date and boy is she impressed by the kick ass party.

7:00 and the mudbugs and beer finally arrive, but no taps or cups or ice- Hey AWhite, those might be things that would help

9:00 party is full on and the beer is flowing, the bugs are dying and FnJ is rolling.
10:00 Barnes fishes the live mudbug out of the pool and Kendall and Nate offer him $20 to eat it
10:01 Barnes rips the mudbug in half and eats it
10:05 Berryman eats a live one for free
12:00 FnJ still rolling and I will give anyone $50 that can tell me who got the first red card in Churchill history
2:00 Tirres, Paul, Barnes and FnJ are all that standing
2:05 Barnes takes a shower in the pool


120 lbs of Mudbugs
2 1/2 Kegs
Romo's cornbread
Wings
Done!



Game 4 Semi Finals FSFC 3 vs DSG Lazio 2
Specht 12 10:30

• Warmups consist of the FSFC standing around with no opponent
• Tirres is thought to be in the pokey
  
• KBlische chases down a loose ball that the keeper drops, then gets tackled by the keeper for the easy PK call
• Lance steps up to the spot and once again hits a ball that the keeper never sees 1-0
• 1-1 Halftime don't remember how they scored
• Kblische draws another PK as he flips the ball up while on the endline and it is allegedly batted down by the sweeper.
• Lance hits this PK on the ground- the keeper dove the right way only problem was the ball was in the net before the keeper even hit the ground 2-1
• Minutes later the ball gets loose in the FSFC penalty area and instead of playing the ball, Ken tackles Ryan and forward- Ken gets a nice yellow card and big slice of humble pie when the PK whizzes past him for the tie game 2-2
• Pblische lends the FS Sean for 10 minutes and it pays off- Ball gets played in deep in the box, #19 goes up for the header and is wiped out by the keeper who punches the ball out what should have been danger. Sean hits a 40 yard shot that has the keeper scrambling back but he has no shot as the ball lands safely in the net- Game Winner
• FSFC 3 DSG Lazio 2- Finals a cuming

Goals: Lance 2(5) Sean 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 2(6)

Game 5 Finals FSFC 1 vs Dallas ACME 3
Specht 12 @ 2:30

• Dead Legs, cramps, exhaustion is the great reward for making the finals
• Darilek skips the finals b/c his wife wears the pants
  
• Average opponent except they are 20 and under and can run all day
• ACME gets on the board after Ken makes a nice save, Kendall is unable to clear the ball and #9 for the opposing team hits a shot that Nate tries to stop but can't 0-1
• Plenty of opportunities to tie the game, but the equalizer doesn't come until Tirres hits a top shelf free kick that the keeper saves, rebound lands at the 6 where Biz heads it in 1-1
• Mauricio hits a shot that the keeper makes a diving save on
• Maurciio hits a shot that the keeper makes a save on rebound goes to #19 who lays it off to a wide open Paul who choofs his shot
  
• 1-1 Halftime but the legs are dead
• Acme gets on the board again when #9 easily beats 2 defenders and crosses the ball far post and it is tapped in 1-2
• FSFC squander multiple good chances- Lance hits a cracker from midfield that beats the keeper but goes wide by a foot- etc etc
• Did I mention Dead Legs have set in?
• Acme player hits a shot that Ryan gets a head on, but the ball takes an unfortunate route and floats over Ken's head 3-1
  
• FSFC don't have the energy or luck to get back in this one
• Final Acme 3 FSFC 1
  

Goals: Biz 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 3(9)



Tourney Awards:

• Offensive MVP: Captain PK Lance- Missed 6 shots by a total of 2 feet- The 3 PK's he took would have broken the keepers hand if he actually saw them before they hit the net
  
• Defensive MVP: Nate- pretty sure he played every minute at sweep
  
• Goal of the Tourney: Sean's Semi Final Game winner
  
• Pussy of the Tourney: Darileck- skipping the finals b/c you don't wear the pants in the family
• Goat of the Tourney- Paul with the missed PK that made us all tired
  
• Churchill Post of the Tourney: Paul- 35 yard crack in game 3 that rung the left cross bar and went out of bounds for a throw in on the right side of the pitch. The post is still ringing
  
• Quote of the Tourney #1: Kneal's 9 year old ballboy ragging on Ken after the third game- "So you gave up 4 goals?"
• Quote of the Tourney #2: Kendall "My Cramps have cramps"
• Quote of the Tourney #3: Paul " you have cum all over your face" directed at the 20 year old that was a little overzealous with the sunscreen application
  
• Tackle of the Tourney: ?
• Jackass of the Tourney: Berryman- flaunting his Coed medal that he piggy backed his way to winning while we are playing the actual Championship game and then fucking up the Him Toast for the 50th consecutive time
  
• Foul of the Tourney: Ryan Payne- Game 3 loose ball on at midfield Ryan stops the counter attack and destroys the player
  
• Fat Man in a little Shirt: Berryman- when Mauricio borrowed his jersey it looked like week 17 on the Biggest Loser
  
• Jackass of the tourney- Ken for the tackle of Ryan and the offensive player giving up the semi final game tying PK
  
• 2009 Mudbug Champion: UNKNOWN
  
• 2009 Drunken Asshole: FnJ - Must have told the Churchill Red Card story 20 times, the started in the bar business story 15 times and telling Tirres "you could only wish you had great hair like mine at 44"
  

Cinco De Mayo 2009 Preview

Cinco de Mayo Theme song 2009
(pretend the blind lady is a Mudbug)



Schedule

Saturday May 2nd 2009

Specht 11 @9:30 SASA Azteca - 0-1-0 Lost 2-0

Specht 11 @12:30 HFA International Jihad's people

Specht 10 @3:30 vs CSAH Entrix Guvners no fucking clue

6th Annual MudBug Massacre 6:00-?

• 100lbs of juicy Mudbugs
• 40lbs of sublime daytona Wings
• 3 Kegs of luscious beer
  

Sunday May 3rd 2009

Semifinal

Specht 12 @ 10:30

Final
Specht 13 @ 2:30

2009 AWARDS Up for grabs (defending champion)

• Offensive MVP (Lance/Paul)
  
• Defensive MVP (Nate)
  
• Goal of the Tourney(#19)
• Pussy of the Tourney (Pblische)
• Churchill Post (Lance)
  
• Quote of the Tourney (Nate/Kendall's puking)
  
• Tackle of the Tourney
• Foul of the Tourney (Kendall)
  
• Fat Man in a little Shirt (Barnes)
  
• Jackass of the Tourney (Tom for bringing a nagging date to the party)
  
• 2009 Mudbug Champion (#19's 12 Year old Nephew)
  
• 2009 Drunken Asshole (MigJet still holding on to his 2007 Title)
  

FADING STARS Cinco Results 7-9-2

2008 Cinco 4-1

Game 1 3-1 vs SASA Anteaters
Game 2 6-0 vs NTPSA Guiness
Game 3 3-0 vs HFA Kingwood

Semi- 4-2 vs SASA Rayados
Finals 1-3 vs HFA Moya

2007 Cinco 2-2-0

Game 1 3-1 vs HFA CG International
Game 2 4-1 vs SASA Medina United
Game 3 0-3 vs SASA Fubar

Semifinals: 0-1 vs SASA Fubar (later disqualified b/c their entry fee check bounced)

2006 Cinco 0-3-0


Game 1 Lost 2-1 vs Houston team
Game 2 Lost 3-0 and they hit 3 posts
Game 3 Forfeit

2005 Cinco de Mayo 1-1-1

Game 1 Tie Blades 2-2
Game 2 Win vs Houston team 1-0
Game 3 Loss vs Dallas team 2-0 Big brawl almost breaks out after the game

2004 Cinco de Mayo 0-2-1

Game 1 Tie Global Stars 2-2
Game 2 Loss Houston Celtics 2-0
Game 3 Forfeit

Summer 1 2009 Game 1 Intl Old Boys 4 FSFC 2

Editors Note* We here at the FSFC have obtained exclusive content and after consulting with the world renowned firm of Berardo, Lilly, Jacobs and Woodard LLC, we bring you a medical first, the successful transgender implant of an oriental vagina onto a leg.

Schertz Soccer Complex Field No. 9 4.5.09

9:00 a.m. Int'l Old Boys FC vs Fading Stars

Game Summary

• 1st play of the game summarizes the game- Kblische taps the kickoff to #19 who turns and passes a rolling ball back to Bergman who completely whiffs the trap and it rolls out of bounds for a deep throw in
  
• FSFC when not turning the ball over are getting plenty of oppt to score but failing
• Intl get a steal from the FSFC backline- make 1 pass and are score FSFC 0 Intl 1
• FSFC come back and Pblische misses a shot wide-
• FSFC turn the ball over again and Intl scores again 2-0
• Ken makes an easy save and punts the ball and the wind carries it 10 yards out of bounds to a chasing Kblische- Kblische hits the cemented bench, slips and flips over the metal benches-
  this is what it looked like
• Kblische is bestowed the great honor of being carried off the field and driven to the hospital by his ultra pregnant Sister in Law- rumour has it Pblische is naming the child Flip
  
• Once play resumes, the FSFC make it a game again as Biz and Bobby1 combine to steal the ball off the endline and get the ball to Berryman at the 18- Berryman plays a ball to Pblische who rips a shot over the diving keeper- FSFC 1 Intl 2 Halftime
• Coach Mig makes some adjustments to the lineup to counter the speed of the Intl forward- Trex and Julio Iglesias start the half at FB
• Strategy works as the FSFC gain control of the game but still can't finish with at least 10 opportunities- KBlische rips a shot that the keeper saves; after corner kick leads to a flurry in front of the goal the ball pops to a wide open Jihad at the 8 who misses high and right.
  
• under 10 minutes left and Ken hits a goal kick to Kendall who misses the trap and the ball goes right to the Intl forward leading to a 2v1 break that Intl scores easily on 3-1
• 30 seconds later and the FSFC turn it over in again leading to another breakaway that Ken gets a hand on but can't save 4-1
• 2 minutes left and Biz gets a free kick from 35 yards out that is ripped an inch inside the post for a very nice goal 4-2
  
• Final FSFC 2 Intl Old Boys 4

Goals: Pblische 1(1) Biz 1(1)
Assts: Berryman 1(1)
Allwd: Ken 4(4)

School House Rocks and Awards

Goat of the Game: Ken- you are only supposed to hurt the other team not Kblische

Goal of the Game: Biz- free kick goals are always winners

Defensive MVP: 4 goals not sure you can have an MVP

Offensive MVP: Migjet- only one that didn't screw up

Jackass of the Game: Kblische- looked like Johhny Knoxville hisself flipping over the bench

Quote of the Game: The collective "Oh Shit" while Kblische is flipping over the bench and splitting his leg open down to the bone

Lineup
GK Ken
FB Berryman
FB Bergman
SW Kendall
ST Darilect
HB Jihad
HB Berardo
CM Pblische
CM Bobby1
F #19
F Kblische

Bench
Coach Migjet
Bobby2
Fireman Sam
TRex
Julio Iglesias
FnJ
Romo

Summer 1 2009 Vids y Mas 1 "Kendall's Vids"

I am not gay so I don't know what this is



How to get laid at Spring Training



God save us, the Dems are in charge





I am not gay so I do know what this is, please open this at work b/c i need your job

Spring 2009 Game 10 FSFC 2 Traditionals 1

NEYSO Specht Road Soccer Complex No. 10
9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Traditionals

Game Summary

• Pretty sure we have played these guys before under a better team name
• Kblische is late to the game as he has to wait for a fat guy to finish shitting so he can venture into the port-a-can to revel in the smell of freshly shat chorizo and egg tacos with a jagermeister chaser while depositing his refuse
  
• Sitting on a 180 plus minute scoreless streak, the FSFC decide to go uphill with the wind
• Things are better as the ball is worked around the pitch and finally Romo plays a ball to #19 who easily beats the keeper- except for that idiotic offsides rule the drought would have ended
• Play is even- Jacobs makes some runs from FB that almost turn out well-
• #19 gets a yellow card for getting tackled by the keeper
  
• Kneals gets a loose ball from 30 yards out and unleashes a cracker that beats the keeper but not the crossbar
• 15 seconds left and the traditionals get a counter attack- Double Dave slips on a banana and the the forward gets in alone vs Ken and beats him low
• Halftime FSFC 0 Traditionals 1
• Scoreless streak tops 225 minutes
• FSFC playing into the wind look much better- Kblische channels his brother and starts dribbling defenders beating 3 players gets fouled outside the box, keeps going with the ball and gets arm tackled in the box. Ref awards a free kick outside the 18 that Kblische puts on frame but the keeper saves
• Unfazed, Kblische dribbles 3 more players and puts his shot wide of the post
• Finally some clarity- ball gets chipped into the box to #19 who tries to trap the ball and gets leveled from behind- PK is awarded. Darilek asks #19 if he is going to take the PK and gets this "Are you fucking kidding me?" Darilek takes the PK and beats the keeper top shelf FSFC 1 Traditionals 1 Scoreless streak ends at about 250 minutes
• Traditionals get a player tossed for a stupid foul on Kneals.
• FSFC control the game giving up zero shots in the 2nd half
• 10 minutes left and Berryman gets the ball down the right side and crosses to Romo at the top of the key. Romo sends a bounce pass deep in the paint to BizMarkie. BizMarkie posts up the defender at the 6. What transgresses would have changed the NBA forever. Imagine Oliver Pig Miller mastering Hakeem's Dream Shake- Biz fakes left, fakes right, goes left again then spins right and fires a blast near post that the keeper never sees
• FSFC 2 Traditionals 1
• FSFC pass the ball around for the final minutes and actually win
• FINAL FSFC 2 Traditionals 1

Goals: Darilek 1(1) Biz 1(4)
Assts: Romo 1(4)
Allowd: Ken 1(17)

Yellow: #19 1(4)

Offensive MVP: Kblische- no goals but gosh darn he tried

Defensive MVP: Kendall- not sure who he blew to get 5th road seats to the spurs, but he must be excellent

Tackle of the Game: Kendall with the slide tackle on the forward- forward starts screaming about how he didn't get any ball- meanwhile Kendall has the ball on his foot and gets up dribbling

Goat of the Game: Kenny Powers- weak ball is played forward and Ken runs over to pick up the ball, falls down hurts his hand, and has to kick it out of bounds- pretty damn funny

Goal of the Game: Pig Miller's dream shake

Quote of the Game: Traditionals defender against Biz- "I did everything I could, but he is 6 inches taller outweighs me by 50lbs"- ultimate ownage by the Biz

Scoundrel of the Game: Jacobs- trying to commit #19 to Laurel Ridge so he can pick up the referral bonus

Lineup

GK Kenny Powers
FB Bergman
FB Jacobs
SW Kendall
ST Darilek
HB Bobby2
HB Berryman
CM Kneals
CM Romo
F #19
F Jihad

Bench
Kblische
BizMarkie
Double Dave

Spring 2009 SEASON RESULTS

5-4-1 16 points

17 Goals For
20 Goals Allowed 3 Shutouts

Goldish Boot

1. #19 5
2. Biz 4
3. Kblische 3

Points Leaders G-A-T

1. #19 5-1-11
2. Biz 4-0-8
3. Bobby1 2-4-8

Yellow Card Winner

1. #19 4
2. Jacobs 2
3. Ken 2 should have been 10

Goalie Stats

1. Berryman 3-0 3 allowed 1 shutout
   
2. Ken 2-4-1 17 allowed 2 shutouts
   

Hack of the Spring

1. Ken
2. Bobby2
3. Double Dave

My Child has perfect attendance bumper sticker

1. #19 10 games
2. Berryman/Jihad/Kblische/Biz/Bergman 9 Games
   

Spring 2009 Vids y Mas 10 Finale

A tribute to my hero Kenny Fucking Powers

Spring 2009 Vids y Mas 7

Get the squirrel



Change



Shitty Keeping Part 1



Shitty Keeping Part 2



The Return of Prank Wars

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Spring 2009 Game 8 FSFC 0 Purple Haze 3

• FSFC are now 4-4-0
• 4 losses are the most we have had in a season since Wasson ran off half of the team
  
• Thru 8 games 15 goals for 18 allowed
• 24 goals scored is the lowest we have had in a 10 game season and we are going to smash that record for futility
  
• 22 players on the roster yet average attendance is less than 13
• a whopping 2 players have shown up for every game
  
• We lost to the shittiest team we have ever played 3-0

Goals: none
Allowed: Ken 3(16)

Yellows: Jacobs 1(1) Bobby2 1(1)


Lineup

GK Ken
FB Bergman
FB Double Dave
SW Kendall
ST Darilek
CM #19
CM Jacobs
HB FnJ
HB Berryman
F BizMarkie
F Bobby2

Bench
Coach Migjet

• 
  

Spring 2009 Vids y Mas 6

Mel Gibson's Comeback Role

]

Publishers Clearinghouse



Air Jordan vs David Robinson- Who ya got?



New Workout Video for Kids

Spring 2009 FSFC 4 Los Bomberos 2

NEYSO Bulverde Rd. Complex Field No. 5 2.22.09 11:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Los Bomberos

March 4th 2007 was a significant day for the FSFC as it was Kendalls last goal which coincidentally was the last time he admits to getting laid

Let's take a look at what has happened since his last fornication and goal up until this goal and his alleged sex act

• Heath Ledger was not only alive he was spitting on his hand to bang dudes in the mountains
• The Spurs won another Championship
• Jessica Simpson was skinny with big tits now she is Kendall's type fat with saggy tits
  
• Ken wasn't playing soccer and thus not allowing goals off of punts
  
• My favorite Golden Girl, Estelle Getty was still alive and making Wasson hard
  
• OJ Simpson wasn't a convict
• Lindsey Lohan was still blowing dudes and coke
• Berryman began his swinging lifestyle
  
• Barnes was still wowing us with his large man nipples in his tight jersey
• Darilek started growing his comb over
• Kblische was a bachelor and could buy soccer shoes when he wanted
  
• #19 had one of those job things
• Tommy, Berryman, Jacobs, FnJ, Joel Osteen, PLopez, Nate, double dave all scored goals during kendalls pussy drought
  
• The fading stars were a championship team
  

Game Summary

• FSFC put out a solid starting lineup with an excellent bench- Windy conditions and Kblische picks to play into the wind 1st half
• 10 minutes in, the FSFC get the first breakaway as #19 plays Kblische thru- Kblische hits a low far post shot that the keeper gets a paw on
• Minutes later the FSFC win a free kick at midfield- ball gets chipped long to a wide open #19 who is 1v1 with the keeper and he uses his club foot to deftly chip the keeper and of course the goal
• FS are pretty much controlling the play and the defense is not really giving up great scoring chances
• BizMarkie joins the fracas and gets loose down the right side and crosses to 12 where Kblische falls down, Bobby1 wiffs and the ball lands at the feet of a wide open Jihad who shoots his load into the parking lot
• 10 minutes left and rapper BizMarkie makes a run down the right side and gets taken down just outside the 18- Bobby1 lofts the free kick to the back post where Kendall gets his big head on the ball and heads it straight up into the net. Kendall gets some trim 1 Bomberos 0
• 2 minutes to go and the bomberos are parked inside the FSFC box- FSFC miss 5 opportunities to clear the ball and Neo gets the ball at the 18. #19 stupidly follows the orders of Sensai John Kreese and sweeps his leg. Ensuing free kick goes over the wall, hits Berryman in the hands and he is unable to keep it out of the net
  
• Kobra Kai 1 Bomberos 1 Halftime
• Kblische and Kendall try to get under #19's skin by feeding quotes from Neo- is it possible to a be a hippie and a Republican?
  
• FSFC come out and absolutely work over the bomberos- ball moves from the left half to the right half, back and to the left, over to the Romo up top on the left half who plays a thru ball to #19 who says screw the far post and on the ground rips one near post high
• FSFC 2 Ted Kacinzky 1
• Just minutes later the run of play continues to be dominated by the FSFC and Jacobs plays a ball to Kblische who dummies the ball and #19 is off to the races again shooting this time with his healthy foot easily beats the keeper FSFC 3 Fireman? 1
• The onslaught of missed opportunites begins again when Romo gets free 1v1 and his shot is saved by the keeper bounces off the post where #19 chases it down turns and passes to Romo standing solo at 8 and he proceeds to deftly shoot the ball at a car
• Jihad works his arse off steals a ball at the end line from the keeper and defender dribbles unabated down the endline towards and empty goal and shoots the ball parallel to the goal line
• The Bomberos attack after being given a huge life line- the sweeper takes a shot from the right 18, catches the wind perfectly and the ball happily nestles in the back of the net
• FSFC 3 Bomberos 2
• Its a game again- FSFC defend some corners, Berryman makes some saves, Kblische misses a breakaway, Romo gets another shot saved, Jacobs gets indecisive and blows a pass.
• Bobby1 gets the idea with 7 minutes left he can come in the game for #19. What the fuck man? Oh nevermind, Berryman punts a ball deep- Bobby1 causes a fracas between the defender and the keeper, ball squirts losse where Bobby1 corrals the ball and gently rolls the ball into the open net. Nice job coaching #19 FSFC 4 Bomberos 2
  
• Final FSFC 4 Bomberos 2

Goals: Kendall 1(1) #19 2(5) Bobby1 1(2)
Assts: Bobby1 1(4) Romo 1(2) Jacobs 1(1) Berryman 1(1)
Allowed: Berryman 2(3)

• Defensive MVP- Kendall hurt arse and all
• Offensive MVP- Bobby1
• Goal of the Game: #19- not because it was a spectacular finish, but the passing leading up to the goal was the best in years
• Players of the Game- Bench- FnJ, Double Dave n BizMarkie- solid play
  
• Goat of the Game- Berardo- I have never seen a throw in go 1 inch before and be caught by the thrower
• Its good to be above .500 for the first time this season
  

Lineup

GK Berryman
FB Jacobs
FB Kneals
SW Kendall
ST Darilek
HB Jihad
HB Berardo
CM Kblische
CM Bobby1
F #19
F Romo

Bench
FnJ
Double Dave
BizMarkie

Spring 2009 Vids y Mas 5

USA vs Mehico Highlights



Here is the aftermath


FSFC Management has a new mandatory video



Jap Obama



New Sony something or other



For those of you that missed the Super Bowl VERY NSFW

Spring 2009 Game 5 FSFC 2 Caracole 5

NEYSO Specht Rd. Complex Field No.10 2.8.09

11:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Caracole FC



Game Summary
1 picture to summarize the game- everything that can be done wrong is shown here. The guy is wearing a Brandeise Blue sweatshirt with 1 Hot pink sleeve and 1 sleeve Chartreuse (yellow for you color blind people) - notice the gray pornstache, flat black hat, polyesther slacks and penny loafers. Amazing this guy was alone at hooters enjoying a wrapped single beer, not watching the game on the tv 2 feet from him, but pretending to watch another tv but really staring down all the waitresses.

That shirt is almost as bad as the goalie scoring on a punt, a ball going thru the 3 foot hole in the wall, scoring a header from the 18 on your own goal, the ball sitting at the 6 with 3 people watching it, and pulling a trap when they have the ball inside the 18.

Here is the theme song for the defense




Final FSFC 2 Caracole 5

Goals: Kblische 1(3) BizMarkie 1(3)
Allowed: Ken 5 (13)

Yellow: #19 1(3)

Goal of the Game: Kblische- FSFC work the ball around the field, ball gets sent to Bobby1 who heads it to a wide open Kblische in the box who slips, cuts and hits his shot into the side netting

Defensive MVP: Ken- made 3 great saves

Goat of the Game: Ken- gave up 4 shit goals

Horse Shit Play of the Game 1: Tied 2-2 and controlling the game, the FSFC earn a corner that results in a shot saved by the keeper. Keeper punts the ball high and far that leaves Bergman and a craphole player chasing it- ball heads towards Ken who calls keeper, goes up for the ball, braces for a collision that never comes and the balls goes over is head and into the net

Donkey Balls Play of the Game 2: down 3-2 Berryman tries to give up a PK by fouling the player in the box- Ref gives the kick on the right side just off the 18. #19 sets the wall with Jihad and Berryman on the end. Ball is shot right at Berryman and Jihad, but Jihad jumps out of the way and the ball goes thru the wall and beats Ken.

Pedophile on Myspace Shit Play of the Game 3: Bobby1 commits a shirt grabbing foul at midfield- Ball is sent to the 18 where Berryman deftly heads the ball and easily beats Ken for the goal

So pissed I can't even Masturbate Play of the Game 4: 0-0 game, ball gets weakly sent into the box, Ken calls for the ball as it bounces at the 6, Double Dave watches as Ken doesn't move, and the forward taps the ball into the net

Quote of the Game: Berryman "Fuck this I am done" After his brilliant header beats his keeper for the well played Own Goal

Hooters MVP: Ken- fucking guy picked up the tab to make up for his less than stellar game

Lineup
GK? Ken
FB Bergman
FB Berryman
SW Jacobs
ST Kneals
HB BizMarkie
HB Jihad
CM Romo
CM Kblische
F #19
F Bobby1

Bench
Double Dave

Spring 2009 Game 4 Intl Old Boys 2 FSFC 1

Schertz Soccer Complex Field No.13

9:00 a.m. Int'l Old Boys FC vs Fading Stars

Lineup

GK Ken
FB Bergman
FB BizMikee
SW Jacobs
ST/CM #19
CM Bobby 1
HB Jihad
F Kblische

Bench
AWhite
Berardo

Game Summary

• FSFC start the game with 8 and are praying someone else will decide to get off of their arse and show up
• Despite playing attacking a team with only 7 field players, Intl is unable to do shit except miss traps and shank shots for the first 15 minutes-
  
• Early fouls are a must when short players as it lets the other team know you aren't going to back down-
  
• Berardo shows up making 8
• Despite playing short, the FSFC have better opportunities and are abusing the slow Intl defense with 1v4 counter attacks
  
• Early fouls are a sin when playing 10 vs 7 and Intl is sinning like Henry VII, fouling Kblische 40 yards out- BizMikee hammers the free kick and it easily beats the keeper , but sadly it rises at the last moment and rings the crossbar-
• Intl corrals the rebound and attack 6 vs 3- ugly orange shoe guy beats bergman 1v1 and gets a cross off- Ken tries to punch the cross and misses like a Buffalo kicker and the ball lands on the foot of a wide open Intl player who hits the open net Intl 1 FSFC 0
• Awhite shows up making 9
• Intl scores again on a shot the wind batted down nicely and easily beat a cheating Ken Intl 2 FSFC 0
• Game is 2-0 but clearly the difference is the # of players on the pitch
  
• Bobby1 gets loose and gets taken down from behind, inside the box, but b/c it was superstar referee that made the tackle no PK and only a yellow card
• Halftime FSFC 0 Intl 2
• Starting the half 10 v 11 makes a difference as Intl bad passing and worse shooting lead to only 1 scoring chance the entire 2nd half
• Ball gets worked around to Jihad who makes a cut back from the left half and crosses to right half where Awhite uses the extra grease from his shit taco restraunt to chase down the ball- Awhite corrals the ball and hits a near post cross to the boot of Bobby1 who deftly re-directs the ball easily beating the keeper FSFC 1 Intl 2
• 10 minutes to go and Kblische takes on 3 defenders and goes down in a pile of shit- the makeup PK is awarded- The defender that fouled Kblische screams "You Mother Fucker, blah blah blah" at the referee- Ref only gives a yellow card- #19 approaches the ref that is being accosted and screamed at by 3 Intl Players and casually points out that the player just called him a Mother Fucker-
  
• 2 Intl players must have had their wheaties b/c they get in #19's face and act all tough which is really hard to do when your British and your soprano voice sounds like a pre-pubesent David Beckham- unfortunate to the badass that likes to shove he only got a yellow card and his balls still haven't dropped
• Everything was setup for the ultimate outcome- down 2-1, playing short all game, Kblische on the penalty spot with a chance to tie the game--- Then Kblische channels his brother and hits the ball down the middle waist high for an easy save
• Instead of rejoicing in the save, **World Cup superstar Lavery decides to yell at the ref some more and picks up a yellow card, but being the nice guy he is he says thank you
  
• Missed PK pretty much ends the game
• Intl 2 FSFC 1 FINAL

Awards and what we learned

• We should have lost 5-0 playing short, but the 8 guys we had to start the game played 90 minutes of solid futbol and the 2 late arrivals would have changed the outcome if they could read a fucking clock
• Kendall was too injured to play, however he can still dance
• Players on the shit list for not giving any kind of notice of their playing status- FnJ, Double Dave
• Communication is still horrid in the back- When the Sweeper or Keeper call for the ball, stop what you are doing and mark up

Awards:

Offensive MVP: Bobby1- Lone goal and drew what should have been a PK- Kblische and Bobby played 2 v 6 the entire game and played well

Defensive MVP: Jacobs- kept it together even with a stopper that had no idea what he was doing

Foul of the Game: Jihad- Jihad gets leveled on a 50/50 ball vs the counting crows lead singer, Chili who sports shitlocks. Shitlocks then engages #19 1v1 and tries to play the ball wide and run on to it. #19 beats him to the ball and is shielding it and just as it rolls out of bounds #19 goes down from a tackle from behind by Shitlocks- only problem was Jihad came out of nowhere knocking the piss out of Shitlocks and into #19 and Jihad is called for the foul and a free kick is awarded just outside the penalty box by the touch line.

Quote of the Game: Jihad- #19 to Jihad "What the fuck was with that foul" Jihad" He fucking deserved it!"

Goat of the Game: Kblische- this is tough as he busted his ass all game but, you just can't miss the PK so badly-

**Editors Note: After the game, Lavery approached #19 and thanked him for a nice game, however he refused to compliment him on the outstanding game summary from the last match**

Spring 2009 Links Y Mas 2

Correctly Guess who's arse this is and win a prize




It disgusts me that someone would do something like this



I is practicing my flopping



I want this car



My life



Little Gordon Part 2



I got a hold of Kendalls Ipod and this link was the homepage on his browser, we still love you Kendall

Spring 2009 Game 3 FSFC 1 Bulverde 0

NEYSO Specht Rd. Complex Field No.19 1.25.09

11:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Bulverde

Game Summary

• The Fading Stars breakout the much anticipated Herpes Offense- the shanks spread from player to player and the outbreaks occur in the scoring area
• Kblische with a shank, wide open #19 with a missed trap in the box, Kendall misses a header off a corner, Kblische sends one into the trees, #19 sends one into the trees, Bobby2 wideopen in the box hits the crossbar, #19 passes instead of shooting when wideopen in the box, Kblische gets loose in the box and hits the shot right to the keeper, #19 with a cracker off the post- BizMarkie hits a nubber from 35, Jacobs misses a header etc etc
  
• Bergman gets matched up 1v1 with Bulverde's "best" player who thinks he is on Dancing with the Stars and starts to Tango- Bergman just stands still and shuts him down
• Bobby1 gets matched up 1v1 with Bulverde's "special needs" player- the kid with the tube socks on beats Bobby1 badly and takes off down the field
• 10 Corner Kicks- no goals
• 0-0 Halftime
• Halftime adjustments are putting Jihad on the special needs player as Bobby1 couldn't handle the assignment anymore
• Herpes Offense Spreads to Jihad, Darilek, Kneals, Bobby1, Romo, and the carrier monkey Kblische
• 5 more Corners no goals
• Berryman takes a nap
  
• Bobby1 gets loose in the box and takes it to the endline where he passes to 12 to a wide open Mike BizMarkie who takes his time and puts the shot on frame and in the net FSFC 1 Bulverde 0
• Yellow cards start flowing but the Herpes Offense continues to spread
• Darileck takes a well advised shot from 45 that misses by 45 yards
• Under 10 minutes to go and BizMarkie commits a foul just outside the 18. #19 sets the wall, Bulverde never asks for 10, they try a trick play touching the ball live and #19 beats the shooter to the ball and clears it. For some reason the ref gives them a do over
• The wall is reset and Kendall blocks the do over then slides tackles clears the deflection to midfield and they end up playing the ball all the way back to the keeper- perfect defense
• Fading Stars run out the clock
• FSFC 1 Bulverde 0 FINAL
  

What we didn't learn and awards

• This outcome was the exact same as last time we played Bulverde- Late goal after many missed shots and last time we gave up a kick just outside the 18 only Ken made a diving save to secure the win
• 0-15 on Corners- 4 of which where never in play
• Valtrex has been ordered

Offensive MVP: Mike Bizmarkie- immune to the Herpes

Defensive MVP: Kendall- well run defense and kept Jacobs under control

Goal of the Game: BizMarkie with the delicate finish 2 goals in 3 games

Goat of the Game: everyone who missed the 30 shots


Goals: BizMarkie 1(2)
Assts: Bobby1 1(2)
Allowed: Berryman 0 (1)

Yellows: #19 1(2) Darilect 1(1) Kendall 1(1)

Lineup

GK Berryman
FB Bergman
FB Jacobs
SW Kendall
ST Darileck
HB Bobby1
HB Berardo
CM Romo
CM Kblische
F #19
F Jihad

Bench
Coach Migjet
Bobby2
Kneals
BizMarkie