Monday, March 23, 2009

Spring 2009 Game 10 FSFC 2 Traditionals 1

NEYSO Specht Road Soccer Complex No. 10
9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Traditionals

Game Summary

  • Pretty sure we have played these guys before under a better team name
  • Kblische is late to the game as he has to wait for a fat guy to finish shitting so he can venture into the port-a-can to revel in the smell of freshly shat chorizo and egg tacos with a jagermeister chaser while depositing his refuse
  • Sitting on a 180 plus minute scoreless streak, the FSFC decide to go uphill with the wind
  • Things are better as the ball is worked around the pitch and finally Romo plays a ball to #19 who easily beats the keeper- except for that idiotic offsides rule the drought would have ended
  • Play is even- Jacobs makes some runs from FB that almost turn out well-
  • #19 gets a yellow card for getting tackled by the keeper
  • Kneals gets a loose ball from 30 yards out and unleashes a cracker that beats the keeper but not the crossbar
  • 15 seconds left and the traditionals get a counter attack- Double Dave slips on a banana and the the forward gets in alone vs Ken and beats him low
  • Halftime FSFC 0 Traditionals 1
  • Scoreless streak tops 225 minutes
  • FSFC playing into the wind look much better- Kblische channels his brother and starts dribbling defenders beating 3 players gets fouled outside the box, keeps going with the ball and gets arm tackled in the box. Ref awards a free kick outside the 18 that Kblische puts on frame but the keeper saves
  • Unfazed, Kblische dribbles 3 more players and puts his shot wide of the post
  • Finally some clarity- ball gets chipped into the box to #19 who tries to trap the ball and gets leveled from behind- PK is awarded. Darilek asks #19 if he is going to take the PK and gets this "Are you fucking kidding me?" Darilek takes the PK and beats the keeper top shelf FSFC 1 Traditionals 1 Scoreless streak ends at about 250 minutes
  • Traditionals get a player tossed for a stupid foul on Kneals.
  • FSFC control the game giving up zero shots in the 2nd half
  • 10 minutes left and Berryman gets the ball down the right side and crosses to Romo at the top of the key. Romo sends a bounce pass deep in the paint to BizMarkie. BizMarkie posts up the defender at the 6. What transgresses would have changed the NBA forever. Imagine Oliver Pig Miller mastering Hakeem's Dream Shake- Biz fakes left, fakes right, goes left again then spins right and fires a blast near post that the keeper never sees
  • FSFC 2 Traditionals 1
  • FSFC pass the ball around for the final minutes and actually win
  • FINAL FSFC 2 Traditionals 1
Goals: Darilek 1(1) Biz 1(4)
Assts: Romo 1(4)
Allowd: Ken 1(17)

Yellow: #19 1(4)

Offensive MVP: Kblische- no goals but gosh darn he tried

Defensive MVP:
Kendall- not sure who he blew to get 5th road seats to the spurs, but he must be excellent

Tackle of the Game:
Kendall with the slide tackle on the forward- forward starts screaming about how he didn't get any ball- meanwhile Kendall has the ball on his foot and gets up dribbling

Goat of the Game:
Kenny Powers- weak ball is played forward and Ken runs over to pick up the ball, falls down hurts his hand, and has to kick it out of bounds- pretty damn funny

Goal of the Game: Pig Miller's dream shake

Quote of the Game: Traditionals defender against Biz- "I did everything I could, but he is 6 inches taller outweighs me by 50lbs"- ultimate ownage by the Biz

Scoundrel of the Game: Jacobs- trying to commit #19 to Laurel Ridge so he can pick up the referral bonus

Lineup

GK Kenny Powers
FB Bergman
FB Jacobs
SW Kendall
ST Darilek
HB Bobby2
HB Berryman
CM Kneals
CM Romo
F #19
F Jihad

Bench

Kblische
BizMarkie
Double Dave

Spring 2009 SEASON RESULTS

5-4-1 16 points

17 Goals For
20 Goals Allowed 3 Shutouts

Goldish Boot
  1. #19 5
  2. Biz 4
  3. Kblische 3
Points Leaders G-A-T

  1. #19 5-1-11
  2. Biz 4-0-8
  3. Bobby1 2-4-8
Yellow Card Winner

  1. #19 4
  2. Jacobs 2
  3. Ken 2 should have been 10
Goalie Stats

  1. Berryman 3-0 3 allowed 1 shutout
  2. Ken 2-4-1 17 allowed 2 shutouts
Hack of the Spring

  1. Ken
  2. Bobby2
  3. Double Dave
My Child has perfect attendance bumper sticker

  1. #19 10 games
  2. Berryman/Jihad/Kblische/Biz/Bergman 9 Games

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Spring 2009 Vids y Mas 10 Finale

A tribute to my hero Kenny Fucking Powers











Friday, March 06, 2009

Spring 2009 Vids y Mas 7

Get the squirrel



Change



Shitty Keeping Part 1



Shitty Keeping Part 2



The Return of Prank Wars

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Spring 2009 Game 8 FSFC 0 Purple Haze 3


  • FSFC are now 4-4-0
  • 4 losses are the most we have had in a season since Wasson ran off half of the team
  • Thru 8 games 15 goals for 18 allowed
  • 24 goals scored is the lowest we have had in a 10 game season and we are going to smash that record for futility
  • 22 players on the roster yet average attendance is less than 13
  • a whopping 2 players have shown up for every game
  • We lost to the shittiest team we have ever played 3-0
Goals: none
Allowed: Ken 3(16)

Yellows: Jacobs 1(1) Bobby2 1(1)


Lineup

GK Ken
FB Bergman
FB Double Dave
SW Kendall
ST Darilek
CM #19
CM Jacobs
HB FnJ
HB Berryman
F BizMarkie
F Bobby2

Bench
Coach Migjet