Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Cinco de Mayo 2006 and Summer Game 4 update




How bad was the Cinco Tourney? We lost to a team that had this guy on it. The fucking queer literally had a rat tail AND he was white.
GAME 1 We lost to a team that had a guy so queer that he made cory seem straight. Up 1-0 at halftime Game 1 the Stars decide to blow the game giving up 2 second half goals and losing 2-1 in the final minute. We lost the tourney in the first game
GAME 2 The FSFC were embarrased in the second game 3-0 and they hit 3 posts. Passing was non existant and we played like a bunch of fucking retards.
GAME 3 The soccer guru were told that they were not a worthy opponent so we skipped game 3 and got drunk.
Here is the speech Migliore gave us after the debacle. You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you, he had but one hope- some day my son will grow to be a man. Well look at you now. You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of goddamn nerds! Nerds! Now if I were you I would do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my maker and my coach! Well let's get those nerds! NEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRDS

Game 1 FSFC 1 HFA Alliance 2
Game 2 FSFC 0 Anarchy Select 3
Game 3 FSFC 0 Soccer Guru 2
Forfeit Let's skip the in depth game reports and go straight to the Awards

Yellow Cards:
#19 and Hunter
Goals: Kblische 1(1) Allowed: Berryman 5(5)

Drunk of the Day: Pat Migliore- The good Doctor decided to skip the Crawfish Broil and take drunkeness to a whole new level. Migjet shows up during the gay boxing match- did I say show up? I meant stumbles up some of his more memorable lines "I haaaaaaaad 1 marhgo and threee Arrturros" "I'm fucked up" "Whoooose thaaat chick?" She is married pat "Sooo" her husband is right next to you "sooo" Then the Migdrunk decides to pour beer on people, starting with Darilek- Darilek starts putting him in headlocks and pushing on pressure points. Migjet gives up and decides to go after Briana. Briana looked like an easy target as he was still recovering from being raped by a Croatian. Migdrunk starts dumping beer on Briana and trying to put him in headlocks- Fucking awesome

Goal of the Tourney: We scored? Kblische had a nice goal

Quote of the Tourney: Cory Lime with a beauty involving Kblische and his getting some. Kblische is talking about hooking up last night, and how he got some ass and there was also a handjob involved- Cory" so you gave the guy a reach around"

Goat of the Tourney: Berryman, the defense, the midfield and the forwards- 5 soft goals in 2 games for Berryman and the defense, Zero passing to the outside halves and forwards and no defense for the midfield, zero goals scored and a 3 missed breakaways for the forwards.

Crawfish Eater of the Tourney: Berryman: I doubt anyone out ate Berryman and I guarantee no one else put butter and ketchup on their mudbugs As usual the Tourney was a smashing success as we enabled ourselves extra time to drink and eat mudbugs. It was a hell of a good time as 80 lbs of new orleans best were killed when the levees broke. Plenty of beer, food and a hell of a drunk night. Props to AWhite for cooking dem mudbugs and securing 5 cases of free beer. Can't wait to get our asses handed to us next Cinco!

Summer Game 4 FSFC 4 vs Soccer Guru 0

Game was really not blog worthy.

Quote of the game - Tommy telling Romo that he would have hit the shot if he hadn't hit the ball with is cankles


Goals
Briana 2
#19 1
Woodard 1

yellow Jacobs

Lineup
GK Lilly
FB Barnes
FB tommy
Sweep Jacobs
Stop Bergman
CM FNJ
CM Romo
HB Jihad
Hb Migjet
F #19
F Woodard

Bench
Briana
PBlische

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Summer 2006 Weekly Links and Pics 7




I can't make this shit up

From the Express News

Faced with the two biggest free throws of his career Monday night at American Airlines Center in Dallas, Dirk Nowitzki did what he always does to combat tense situations. He took a few deep breaths. Tried to settle his nerves. And sang to himself. And just what song is appropriate for when you're about to force overtime against the defending NBA champion Spurs and push the Dallas Mavericks one step closer to the Western Conference finals? "Whatever comes in my mind," Nowitzki said. "'Looking for Freedom,' David Hasselhoff."

This is what faggot dirk sings at the free throw line

nothing beats boner humour

Training with Darilect is very similar to this

White people dancing

Canadians kick breast

More proof of referee's being biased (loads slow but worth it)

World Cup is only 3 weeks away

if you guys would click on the ads i could afford this t-shirt

Howard Stern prank call

Jihad sent me a racist monkey email

For the finale

a little doggie porn

and a little llama porn

Summer 2006 Game 4 Soccer Guru


NEYSO Specht Rd. Field No. 17
9:00 a.m. Soccer Guru vs Fading Stars

In
  1. Migjet
  2. #19
  3. Briana
  4. Romo
  5. Barnes
  6. Lilly

Out

  1. Darilect
  2. Berrybutter

Monday, May 01, 2006

Summer 2006 Game 3 FSFC 4 Wolfpack 2 "Fading Stars whip up on the Flat Bellies"



Pepsi Soccer Texas Field No. 12 April 30th 2006
11:00 a.m. Wolf Pack vs Fading Stars









Game Summary
FSFC showed up tired and hungover after partying at the #19 wedding. Struggling with the beer shits due to keg Bud Light, the FSFC face a challenge today as a team of flat bellies means lots of running.

1st Half
Game gets off to a good start as both teams begin feeling each other up. FSFC are able to solve the defense of the pack within the first 5 minutes, basically they have Bjorn Bjorg at sweeper and he ain't gotta chance with that wood racket of his. Couple of shots and some nice runs- #19 misses as the keeper makes a nice save, Kendall pushes one wide on a nice run- Jihad gets some nice crosses. Ball gets played into the FSFC defensive 18- Barnes passes to neal, neal passes to the wolfpack forward- forward one times a shot that berryman had no shot at.

FSFC 0 Lorenzo Charles 1

FSFC recover nicely from the early deficit, controlling the ball and basically working the mulleted fullbacks to death. Cory comes in the game for Jihad- Cory is in fine shape as he used to having the leaky poo from his bunghole.
Jacobs goes up for a header and catches a nice elbow for his efforts, couple of scoring chances, 3 corners in a row- defensive squad is playing well. Pack are getting very few opportunities at anything
Romo gets a ball and deftly hits a ball off the outside of his foot to a streaking Cory. Cory one touches it into the side netting. Romo is a bad ass, Cory is fast

FSFC 1 Packers 1

Not much else happens HALFTIME FSFC 1 Nelson Wolffepack 1

2nd Half

Game's pace picks up a bit, Briana starts getting into it with a couple of boys, fouling picks up. Couple of good scoring chances on free kicks- but nothing happens. Ball gets played into the stars defensive end, pack player tries to beat two stars and Romo picks his pocket- long ball gets played to Jihad(who was on his own half) and Jihad is off with a breakaway. The two pack players were unable to catch the speedy shiite and he manages to beat the goalie on beauty of a shot.

FSFC 2 Coyote Posers 1

This is where the game gets really good. Barnes makes a weak pass to who knows, ball is picked off by the pack forward- who brings it into the 18 to get absolutely smashed for his efforts and ends up with a PK. Darilek gets a yellow card- but Berryman claims that he actually took the kid out. The guy taking the PK ties up his shirt around his stomach like a fag in Miami- He decides to go left and Berryman eats his shot up pushing it wide left. Berryman is a hero for about 7 seconds.

Fading Stars are energized and take contr0l of the game again. Ball gets worked down the right side of the pitch and FSFC get a throw in from about the 6. Kblische rips off a long throw that clears a defender takes a hop to FnJ who heads the ball into the upper right corner of the goal. FnJ calls the goalie a mother fucker and he has been reborn- FnJ was healed by the Catholic Mass at #19's wedding- That JC is a hell of a miracle worker.

FSFC 3 Wolf Brand Chile 1

Wolfpack decide that they are getting embarrased and try to up their game. Too little to late- FSFC get a corner- get about 8 shots on the net before Kendall buries it and the wolves

FSFC 4 puppies 1

Forward for the pups dribbles past 3 star defenders and beats Berryman near post. way too little and way to late.

FSFC 4 pack 2

Stars continue to press and play out the game for the last 10 minutes but this shit is as over as the Spur's playoff run.
Final
Cancer 4 Jim Valvano 2

Goals:
Jihad 1(1), FnJ 1(1), Kendall 1(1), Lime1(1)
Goals Allowed:
Berryman 2(5)

Goal of the Game: Jihad- Romo with a beautiful steal that led to a breakaway for Jihad who buries the shot.
Defensive Play of the Game: Berryman's PK save- bailing out Barnes
Goat of the Game: Neal- in his debut game- Turning the ball over at the defensive 18 is never good- having the forward one touch blast a shot for a far post goal- gets you the goat. Good debut otherwise
Offensive MVP: Romo- best game in long time for captain geriatric
Defensive MVP:
Foul of the Game: Jacobs taking an elbow to the forehead and he now looks like a circus freak
Hungover player of the Game: Kblische owns this award week in and week out
Quote of the Game: Pat Fucking Migliore with Grand Slam. Setting: #19's wedding Timing: during the Sacrament of Communion where the priest is giving out the Eucharist which is the bread and wine signifying Christ's sacrafice of his body and blood. What does Migjet say you ask? "Can't believer Wasson isn't up there as they are giving away a free meal"


Yellow Cards
Darilek 1(1)
Red Cards
None it's summer cmon guys

Lineup
GK Berrybutter
FB Barnes
FB Bergman
SW Jacobs
ST Darilek
HB Lilly
HB Kendall
CM Neal
CM Romo
F #19
F Jihad

Bench
Berardo
Migjet
FnJ
Woodard
LimeAids
Briana
KBlische

Missing but not missed
Hunter
AWhite
Bodo
Pblische