Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Fall 2008 Game 2 FSFC 0 Aztecas 2

NEYSO Specht Road Complex Field No. MAP TO FIELDS

11:00 a.m. Azteca FC vs Fading Stars 9.28.08

Game Summary

  • Starting goalie on vacation with his mistress, backup goalie on vacation with 1000 computer nerds- bad omen
  • Kendall gets MVP for kidnapping Nate and gently raping him
  • Game gets off to a sloppy start as we are forced to start players out of position
  • Bergman does a decent job in goal making the necessary saves and toe poking his goal kicks to midfield.
  • Kendall goes to the sideline with a boo boo during an Azteca free kick. Ball gets played and the shot easily beats Bergman 1-0
  • FSFC are hanging in and getting some easy opportunities, Kendall gets lose at the 6 and kicks it right at the goalie
  • Bodo falls down for the 6th time in the first half negating opportunities
  • the Aztecas get a free kick in our defensive end, ball gets played to the back 18 to an unmarked man who hits a really weak shot right at Bergman. Bergman bends down to get the ball and it goes through his legs into the goal 2-0
  • Halftime down 2-0 but these guys are not good
  • Fading Stars outshoot the Aztecas 3-1 in the second half and can't score
  • Bodo misses 2 1v1's with the keeper, Kendall skies for a corner and heads high. Jacobs heads a free kick to the 10 where Kendall chuffs the shot and it goes to Jihad who scores- too bad he was offsides.
  • The Dali Romo gets a yellow card on the sideline
Goals: None
Allowed: Bergman 2(2)

Yellow Cards: FnJ 1(1) Romo 1(1) Bodo 1(1)

Awards:

Defensive MVP: Nate
Offensive MVP: Kendall

Lineup

GK Bergman
FB Jacobs
FB Payne
SW Nate
ST Kendall
HB Berardo
HB Jihad
CM Romo
CM JP
F #19
F Bodo

Bench
Migs
FnJ
Awhite
Tommy IR
Kblische IR

Friday, September 26, 2008

Fall 2008 Vids y Mas 2

My Vote has been Won





The Cubs are destined for failure




Green Gatorade



Slow Week so let's watch the Greatest QB of all time work some magic



Friday Workout Video



Kendall submits SFW Porn



and finally the long awaited Tom Wasson sex video- this video is NSFW

DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK UNLESS YOU ARE A SICK INDIVIDUAL OF AT LEAST 18 YEARS - THIS VIDEO WILL GET YOU FIRED IF YOU ARE AT WORK- IT WILL GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES UNLESS OF COURSE YOU THINK ITS THE FUNNIEST VIDEO EVER LIKE I DO

Monday, September 22, 2008

Fall 2008 Game 1 FSFC 2 vs Mercenary FC 1

Soccer International Complex Field No. 13 MAP TO FIELDS
11:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Mercenary FC

Game Summary
  • If only Wasson where at the game to perform his cast of thousands routine
  • It is Amazing what the prospect of new uniforms does for attendance
  • AWhite shows up late and remarks that with the matching uniforms we now are one of those teams we make fun of
  • #19 Jr makes his debut and has some skills- but he kept dribbling the ball away from the goal and towards the sideline- A paternity suit has been filed against Bodo
  • Rusty makes his return from maternity leave and still has his Joey
  • Game gets off to an even start and the flat bellies are frustrated minutes into the game by the FSFC pressure
  • Pblische gets off several early blasts and scoring opportunities are a plenty
  • Our new #10 jersey gets off to a start as he picks off a ball at the 35, takes on 2 defenders, gets whacked at the 18 and rips a shot into the side netting 1-0
  • The mercenary squad starts fouling on every ball in the air and start getting pissy as their offense continues to sputter
  • Pblische gets a steal and does his patented juke out 3 defenders, makes the keeper fall down and gets his open net shot cleared off of the line.
  • Halftime 1-0
  • Picture time- according to the US Government, a certain member of the squad is unable to be in the team photo and is forced to be team photographer.
  • 2nd half begins much the way of the 1st half, with some ugly soccer and lots of fouls.
  • Bergman gives up another happy hand ball, but the free kick is cleared by the wall- Romo steps in front of the mercenary player winning the ball but is called for a mythical elbow. While Ken is trying to set the wall, the ref lets the free kick go and it beats Ken high and tight 1-1
  • Ken gets his revenge as a ball is deflected towards the end line and out of any danger- bald and shiny #7 for mercs gives chase and jumps in the air- Ken gives chase punches the ball away deftly knocks #7 into the wire fence.
  • #7 takes about 30 seconds untangling himself and after his teammates get in front of him, decides to take on Ken. #7 gets his second yellow and Ken happily accepts his yellow.
  • Pblische gets off a cracker that the keeper makes a nice save on
  • Rusty heads a cross to the middle of the box that Kendall over runs and does his best Rene Higuita impersonation and just misses Winning Goal of the Year.
  • Kblische chips a ball into the box that #19 runs onto and just when he looks up a charging rhino knocks him on is ass earning the PK
  • Darilect steps up to the spot, studies the Rhino and hits the ball 4mph into the net 2-1.
  • Whilst running out the clock, Kblische steps on the ball, eats shit and breaks his arm.
  • Final 2-1
Goals: Kblische 1(1) Darilect 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 1(1)

Yellow Cards: Ken 1(1) Jacobs 1(1)- Definite trend here

Goal of the Game: Kblisches and 1

Foul of the Game: Ken taking out a player and a fence

Quote of the Game: Rusty- "We need to take up a collection to buy Bodo's girlfriend some underwear" #19- "What the fuck is wrong with you Obama- we don't need change"

Hack of the Game: Ken off to the early start, but Raul is slowly replacing the legendary Barnes

Offensive MVP: Pblische- despite his occasional over dribbling he put constant pressure the D

Defensive MVP: Ken- he just scares me


Lineup

GK Ken
FB Bergman
FB Jacobs
SW Kendall
ST Darilect
HB Jihad
HB Speetey
CM Nate
CM Kblische
F #19
F Pblische

Bench

Romo
Bodo
FnJ
Raul
AWhite
JP
Rusty
Migs DNP
Tommy DNP

Friday, September 19, 2008

Fall 2008 Vids y Mas 1

Knockout



MigsJet is a Survivor



I expect Ken to do this for the team picture



Let's hope that after Ken Bergman gives up a PK, they shoot like this



Pure Gold



Monday, September 15, 2008

Summer 2008 2 Game 8 SA Gunners 1 FSFC 2

NEYSO Specht Road Complex Field No. 19 MAP TO FIELDS
9:00 a.m. SA Gunners vs Fading Stars

This video sums up the offense, as I think we had every one of the misses



Game Summary

  • Raul dribbles down the end line and passes to #19 at the six who buries it top shelf- thank god #19 was that close or we would have had an all time miss
  • Jacobs goes 50/50 on a ball, guy slide tackles then trips Jacobs- no foul is called and the guy gets up with the ball so Jacobs takes him out from behind just outside the 18 earning him a nice yellow card and locking up his Hacker of the Season Award
  • Fading Stars miss about 10 easy goals
  • 1-0 Half
  • The poor finishing continues
  • With 10 minutes left, Jihad gets the ball in the middle and completes a pass to a wide open Kblische who literally walks the ball into the goal after he leaves the mouthy goal keeper flopping on the ground looking like a fish 2-0
  • The ugly game is in hand, the FSFC have the field spread and are passing it around. Kendall heads wide ride at midfield, Bobby2 has the ball on the left at midfield and makes a perfectly weighted pass to the a wide open player- on the other team. Guy has a breakaway with no one but Darilek to chase after him and he beats Ken with the shot
  • Final 2-1
Goals: #19 1(6) Kblische 1(10)
Assts: Raul 1(2) Jihad 1(2)
Allowed: Ken 1(15)

Yellow: Raul 1(1) PMJMD 1(3)

Awards:

Foul of the Game: PMJMD- The take down from behind after the no call was a thing of beauty.

Goal of the Game: Kblische- All Beckham had to do was quit shooting

Quote of the Game: Ken- After Ken catches an easy shot he yells at the other keeper "This is what you don't do- GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE" Then Ken proceeds to punt the ball to emphasis his point- only he shanks the shit out of the ball and it goes out of bounds after traveling a whole 20 yards

Churchill Post of the Game: Kblische- we hit a post!

Defensive MVP: Kendall-

Offensive MVP: Impossible to decide with the outstanding finishing

Goat of the Game: Bobby2- he bails out the #19, Kblische and Bodo with his perfect pass to the other team

Lineup

GK Ken
FB Handball Bergman
FB Jacobs
SW Kendall
ST Darilek
HB Berryman
HB Jihad
CM Raul
CM Speetey
F #19

Bench
Bodo
Kblische
Bobby 2
Migs

Friday, September 12, 2008

Summer 2008 2 Vids y Mas Ocho

First Video of Hurricane Ike



Vote Palin



At last, The Intertron Phenom 2 girls 1 cup



Holy Christ



Hurricane Party



I'm Done

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Summer 2008 2 Game 7 FSFC 2 Intl Old Boys 5

Sunday September 7, 2008
Soccer International Complex Field No. 12 MAP TO FIELDS
9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Int'l Old Boys FC

  • The ego of Steve Jennings knows no bounds even if his soccer skills do- After we beat this team 5-4 on 3.30.08; the vow was made to FnJ that the next time they played us they would bring their 1st division players and they did.
  • The international pussies had 7 1st division players and a total of 12 subs and it took every single one of them to beat us
  • Memo to Gary, who I know reads this, please let us bring our first division players onto the pitch next time we play these cunts
Game Summary

  • The first division team that practices control the game playing 1-2's all over the pitch and constantly playing the ball ball wide.
  • FSFC get on the board first after one of the illegal aliens commits a foul 40 yards out. Kblische sends the free kick to the back of the left six where Pblische traps it and chips it to the middle of the six where #19 flicks it to the right corner, gets a gentle bounce from the post and settles in the side netting 1-0 FSFC
  • The FSFC defense holds up strong for another 10 minutes until an illegal hits a shot that Ken saves, but gives up a salty rebound that no defender covers and he taps in the equaliver 1-1
  • Here is where the BS begins- Darilek stuffs a wanker on his run just outside the endline, the wanker gets up starts talking shit and realizes he wants none of Darilek. He walks up to Bobby2 and pokes him in the eye- Bobby2 shoves him and is ready to go. Meanwhile, JP decides to talk shit to the 6'6 sweeper and Darilek tells him to back the off.
  • 5'3 referee is intimidated by the ongoings and calls a foul on Ken during the corner kick- The same old boy player backed into Ken who does what any competent keeper does, pushes him out of the way and punches away the corner. Sergio gives them a PK 2-1
  • Kblische earns the PK back as he gets loose inside of the box and the same guy comes in from behind and lets his push take him down. Pblische converts 2-2
  • We go to halftime tied 2-2
  • 2nd half begins with 8 fresh bodies starting for the Intl team- all of whom are illegal players
  • they work the ball around well and their shittiest player hits the blast of his lifetime from 25 out that goes upper 90 far post 3-2
  • FSFC continue to fight a losing battle, Ken tries to take out a player on a player that gets free in the box and misses him- player falls down Sergio gives another PK 4-2
  • Intl score on a well hit ball that gets under Ken 5-2
  • Final 5-2.
Goals: #19 1(4) Pblische 1(7)
Assists: Pblische 1(2) Kblische 1(3)
Allowed: Ken 5(14)
PK Goals: Pblische 1
PK Fouls: Ken 2(3)

Awards

Quote of the Game: Kblische- Tommy decides to hide the $80 ball in his bag and blame it on Raul's kids for stealing the ball- Kblische finally figures out that tommy has the ball and out comes "Look, we just got our asses kicked and I really don't need to be fucking punked right now"

Defensive MVP: Kendall and Darilek- at least 20 plays by these 2 and they forced everything wide

Offensive MVP: Pblische- He was a marked man, took an elbow to the ear, and kept fighting.

Goal of the Game: #19- Anytime this puss scores with his noggin it is like the birth of Jesus

Lineup:

GK Ken
FB Bergman
FB Jacobs
ST Darilek
SW Kendall
HB Berryman
HB Bobby2
CM Speetey
CM Kblische
F #19
F Pblische

Bench
Coach Tom
Raul
JP
Romo
Tommy DNP

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Summer 2008 Vids y Mas 7

This is how the A&M season opener went



Look out for those homos



Mandatory video for Rusty and Bodo




A keeper that makes Ken look good- (hint not the one that kicks the ball)




Exclusive video of MigJets new girlfriend




This is why Guiness is the bestest beer in the world