Fall 2007 Game 2 FSFC 3 vs Gay Blades 1

Undermanned for the match, Coach Migjet gives his pregame speech



GAME SUMMARY

On a foggy morning, reminiscent of the opening scene of ET- The Fading Stars begin to gather, knowing they will be short on bodies, but have plenty of players. in the typical FSFC/Blades matchup, things get off to a smooth start until the blades Samurai warrior starts hacking from behind- A quick yellow card pretty much ends his first half.

Then FSFC start doing an amazing thing- passing the ball and working it outside and then back in to the middle. The Blades are clearly puzzled by this strategy having never seen it employed by the Stars. Shots start to reign on the Blades keeper, but he does a good job of watching them go wide.

Couple of free kick opportunities go wasted, and the Blades play a nice kickball that Bergman chests down to the ground only to be called a handball. The blades take their kick and it is saved and the rebound gets knocked around to Martin at about the 25. Pblische rips the ball from him and the breakaway is on- 5 v 2. Pblische takes the ball all the way down to 12 passes to Bobby who flubs the trap and the keeper dives on his foot snatching the ball. Ashamed at the lost opportunity, halftime thankfully comes.

Halftime

FSFC 0 Blades 0

And we are off- Rusty gets a break and blasts a right footer that catches all post, rebound is easily cleared. Pblische tries to dribble the ball in only to have it stolen at the 6. Attacking dominance by the Stars backfires when the backline passes a ball to Bergman with Lori slowly chasing. Bergman pops the ball in the air, tries to head it, misses kicks through Lori's legs, ball ends up towards Ken who falls down, Bergman falls down and Lori walks in the worst goal in the history of soccer.

Blades 1 FSFC 0

Time to play kids- The Blades try to trap at midfield, Romo plays a ball thru that Kblische runs on to- 3 vs 1 break that Kblische takes down the right side and buries his shot to the far post. Blades think everyone is offsides, but clearly the play started on the Stars half.

FSFC 1 Blades 1

The FSFC are relieve to have covered up the gift. The attack continues. FSFC win a corner on the right side that Woodard sends in. The ball majestically floats over the crossbar staying in bounds. Berardo runs down the kick on the left half. Berardo holds the ball and waits for the perfect moment when he crosses to the back post. #19 traps the ball with his right thigh and volleys with his left burying the ball in the upper 90- It was a goal so beautiful that even the Nazi Major stood up and cheered.



FSFC 2 Blades 1

Damn there were still 15 minutes left and everyone was tired. Ball gets bounced around a bunch and worked into the Blades half of the field. Pblische passes the ball to Romo- let me repeat that, Pblische passes the ball to Romo at the top of the 18, Romo heads the ball into the box to #19 who traps and buries his lefty shot into the right side netting.

FSFC 3 Blades 1

That is all she wroted.


Goals Kblische 1(1) #19 2(2)
Allowed Ken 1(6)

Cards- None

Quote of the Game: Bergman- "You need to get some fucking glasses" to the referee that was wearing glasses

Foul of the Game: The entire Blades team

Churchill Post of the Game: Woodard dented the post at the start of the 2nd half

Goal of the Game: #19 from Berardo- Rusty with the corner that magically floats over the entire goal staying in bounds. Berardo chases down the ball brings it back and hits a beautiful backside cross which #19 traps on his thigh and volleys left footed upper 90-

Defensive MVP: Kneals- pretty much worked over Martin and controlled the middle

Goat of the Game: Normally a team blowing a 4 v 1 breakaway would win, but Bergman with the breakaway goal against his own keeper takes the cake.



Lineup

GK Ken
FB Bergman
FB AWhite
SW Pblische
ST Kneals
HB FnJ
HB Berardo
CM Romo
CM Bobby
F #19
F Woodard

Bench
KBlische
Coach Migjet

Missing but clearly not missed

Bodo
BrianA
Darilect
Jihad
Jacobs
Berrman
Tommy
Kendall

Fall 2007 Vids and Poop Story Dos

Tollbooth Willy



Brilliant Save



More Brilliant Goal



Stripper Fight


Pole Dance Cat Fight - Watch more free videos

Bike Ride





and finally,
not wrotten by me...

All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell.
As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!"
This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathroom. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 0 through 4 (I write a lot of software) for your convenience:

0.Occupied

1.Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.

2.Poo on seat.

3.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.

4.No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet.

Clearly, it had to be Stall #1. I trudged back, entered, dropped Trousers and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful Pooper. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.

I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. S was blathering to Mrs. S about the crappy day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.


Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder in one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.

-

Once my butt cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent: (1) The next-door conversation had ceased; (2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench.

It was as if a gateway to heck had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.

"Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with the suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??"

Next door I could hear fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up... in my mouth.... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.

-

Alas, it is evidently difficulty to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by a string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet.

After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.

As I left, I glanced to the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know.

I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has manged to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.

Fall 2007 Game 1 FSFC 1 Real Azteca 5 "Cone Defenss"

The Famous Cone Defense





Game Footage
We are the Red Team




Game Summary

FSFC Kickoff- #19 taps to Pblische, Pblische passes back to Kneals, Kneals passes it to Kendall, ball is stolen break away, goal.

FSFC 0 Real Azteca 1

Ken makes some saves, Real Azteca dribbles around the cone defense- breakaway goal

FSFC 0 Real Azteca 2

Real Azteca dribbles arounds some cones, attacking with 6 and leaving 5 players watching from midfield. Bergma sticks out his arm to block a weak shot, PK

FSFC 0 Real Azteca 3

Halftime

FSFC start to play decent offense, Real Azteca suprisingly counter attacks, yikes another breakaway

FSFC 0 Real Azteca 4

Yeah we get a PK and Pblische makes it

FSFC 1 Real Azteca 4

Yeah the entire defense watches Real Azteca score goal #5

FSFC 1 Real Azteca 5

Great Game Guys

Goals PBlische 1(1)
Allowed Ken 5(5)

Cards None

Churchill Post of the Game: Bobby- blasts one off of the crossbar

Foul of the Game: Ken with a clean tackle on a breakaway- no foul but it was a hell of a tackle

Defensive MVP: Ken- not often does a keeper give up 5 goals and actually have a hell of a game.

Goat of the Game: too many

Quote of the Game: Let's go to Hooters

Anyone want to write this shit?


Lineup
GK Ken
FB Bergman
FB FnJ
ST Jacobs
SW Kendall
HB Jihad
HB Kneals
CM romo
CM Briana
F #19
F Pblische

Bench
Migjet
AWhite
Bobby
2 Guys
Tommy
Bodo
Rusty

Fall 2007 Links and Vids UNO

To Catch a Fainter




First Big Hit for the Football season


http://view.break.com/344676 - Watch more free videos

New Fatso's Waitress




Catholic Community



Top Gun




Wednesday's With MigJet Theme Song- FSFC CLASSIC

Fall 2007 Season Preview " #19's Interview with iGod

#19: Hey dude whats up?
God: You've got my full attention. The stars. Dude,.

#19: Funny we are the Fading Stars. What is your name?
God: My name is God.

#19: Do you have a last name?
God: Are you serious? Is this really the last one?

#19: You don't have to get all uppity. Just wanted to say Hi.
God: Hello. What is your name?

#19: The #19
God: Who told you that?

#19: Jesus
God: Jesus is the Son of God.

#19: Yes he is
God: Give me a break. Who said he is.

#19: You did
God: I did not.

#19: Then the Bible told me so
God: New Testament or Old?

#19: New
God: Can you tell me any gossip?

#19: Heard Allen White hooked up with a fat girl
God: David said he walk in for an appointment the phone to the doctor is always busy.

#19: Yeah I heard he caught an STD
God: Er. Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.

#19: Can he be cured of his STD
God: Perhaps he can do that. How difficult is it?

#19: I have heard there are pills
God: Who told you there are pills ?

#19: Dr. Jacobs
God: I am sure Allen will be interested to hear that.

#19: Back to soccer, Will the Fading Stars win the Division this fall?
God: Does it really matter.

#19: Yes, but only to true believers not like the athiest Romo
God: You seem very concerned about it. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

#19: Will Russ Woodard learn to stay onsides?
God: Does it really matter.

#19: yes
God: You seem very concerned about it.

#19: Well we lose a lot of goals b/c he is always offsides, so will Rusty learn to stay onsides or not?
God: Probably not.

#19: Great, will Bodo ever trap a ball and not let it run past him?
God: Probably not.

#19: Will Pblische ever pass the ball?
God: Does it really matter.

#19: Yeah it would help
God: Tell me more about it.

#19: well sometimes he dribbles and dribbles and never shares the ball, and then gets it stolen.
God: Interesting. I get it. Jesus dribbles and dribbles and never shares the ball.

#19: yeah he does think he is Jesus on the pitch
God: Next question? I get it. Pblische does think he is Jesus.

#19: Will Ken give up less goals this fall?
God: I can't say for sure right now.

#19: Is it Ok to have a fat fullback?
God: I don't think it is very healthy.

#19: What about Old Fullbacks?
God: Does it have anything to do with New?

#19: So you are saying we need New fullbacks- gotcha
God: Blimey. By "we" do you mean you and me?

#19: I guess you can join the team and play fullback
God: No I don't think I can do it.

#19: cmon I will trade you Migjet's Soul and a six pack of beer
God: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

#19: Ok, I will toss in Wasson and Barnes- Deal?
God: Congratulations. Great.

#19: Sweet we start on August 12th, back to soccer.
Will Myke Kendall get red carded?
God: I think so.

#19: Will #19 win the Golden Boot this fall
God: It could happen.

Me: That is what I thought, thanks for your time God.
God: Oh don't mention it.

God can be found here