Summer 1 2009 Links y Mas 3

Nasty Headbutt



More proof that baseball players prefer balls




Maggots Michael, You're eating Maggots.



FSFC are implementing a new FNG initiation practice

Summer 2009 Vids y Mas 2

Blades Secret weapon is a wizard

Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

A certain Blades players will be performing at halftime




Kendall submits his new favorite movie



Darilek works on gun safety



$50 says Ken gives up a goal just like this

Cinco de Mayo 2009 Summary

12 Steps to Ending the Bridesmaid Tradition

• Step 1 - We admit we were powerless over our addiction to 2nd place - that our games had become unmanageable and that drinking 3 Kegs and 120lbs of mudbugs is ok
• Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity- next year we will have better drugs and a massage therapist
  
• Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of MigJet as we understood MigJet- this means Hooters, El Jarro and trists with employees
  
• Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves- some of us are old, some slept in, some drank too much, some abandoned the team for the finals.
  
• Step 5 - Admitted to #19, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs- missed breakaways, missed PK, weak shots, brilliant shots hitting posts, shots from Lance missing by inches, a psychotic goal keeper.
  
• Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character- nah I like you fuckers the way you are
  
• Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings- don't think God can help us here
  
• Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all- this one is directed at Paul for telling a kid he has cum all over his face
  
• Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others- Fuck em- pain is good to inflict
  
• Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it- fuck this one too
  
• Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out- still don't think God can help us
  
• Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs- More beer, more mudbugs and more football
  

Game 1 FSFC 2 vs SASA Aztecas 2
Specht 11 @ 9:30

• late arrivals make the lineup easy-
• thoroughly enjoyed the Azteca dooshbag doing Tai Chi to warm up for the game
• we give up the first goal on a counter attack that a rusty unit wasn't ready to defend and the FSFC find themselves down 1-0 early on
• FSFC get a free kick that Kendall hammers from midfield, #19 chests the ball down inside the 18 and lays it off to Kblische who mishits his shot so bad the keeper dives the wrong to the far post and the ball rolls into the middle of the net 1-1 halftime
• Halftime adjustments are made and the FSFC start kicking the shit out of the pretty boys-
• Lance gets loose inside the 18 and crosses over the middle to a wide open Pblische who brings the ball down and scorches a shot into the side netting 2-1
• 10 minutes left and the game is under control- FSFC earn a PK to put the game away and coach Charlie Weiss decides to leave it up to his star QB Jimmy "Paul" Clausen to put the game on ice.
• Keeper dives to his right, ball goes to the keepers left and keeps going past the post and into the parking lot.
• Fuck you Charlie Weiss even the rubber band in your stomach hates you- all future PK's will be taken by uber muscular pretty boy Brady Quinn
• Under 3 minutes left and 1 last gasp for the Aztecas- Kblische decides to double team the ball and the offensive player pass splits Kblische and Ryan to a wide open player. Darilek makes a stab but gets beaten and the guy shoots from an impossible angle and roofs it 2-2
• Final FSFC 2 Aztecas 2 1 Point and a 2 points lost
  

Goals- Kblische 1(1) Pblische 1(1)
Assts- #19 1(1) Pablo 1(1)
Allowed- Ken 2

Game 2 FSFC 2 vs HFC International 1
Specht 11 @ 12:30

• Houston teams are the best at crying
• FSFC get on the board after #19 draws a foul outsid the right edge of the 18. Paul plays a beauty chip to the far post that Lance heads in. Amazingly Lance was left wide open or was it the pull block of the guard Kendall that did that. 1-0
  
• Late in the half TRex gets loose from midfield chasing the ball like it was a wounded triceratops- Trex makes a nice cut and finds Lance who brings down the high pass, gets whacked but still hits rips his shot off the crossbar, off the field number and straight down 2-0 Halftime
• 2nd half, the Houston team comes out with a vengeance and pushes the pace of play
• They eventually score on Ken- don't remember and the FSFC hold on for a 2-1 win
• 2 GAME 4 points tied for 1st
  

Goals: Lance 2(2)
Assts: Pablo 1(2)
Allowed: Ken 1(3)

Game 3 FSFC 2 vs CSHA Entrix Guvners 1
Specht 10 @ 3:30

• Win or a tie and the FSFC advance to Sunday
  
• Lance decides to sit this one out with a bum ankle and let the more talented players handle this one
• FSFC seem relaxed so much so that there is zero talking on the pitch
• First great scoring opportunity goes to the FSFC as Paul hits a beautiful corner that finds a wide open #19 on the back post- the ball was so beautiful #19 decided that the best way to score was to nose the ball towards the goal then catch it. Apparently that is against the rules or something
• Inspired by his brilliant heading display #19 decides that the first one was too easy and a more difficult opportunity is all that is needed
• Minutes before halftime the ball is skied in the air at about the 18 keeper runs out calling for the ball- #19 levitates over the taller defender and the oncoming keeper and using the nose on the top of his head gets the ball rolling towards the empty net eventually finding its way into the goal It was a dream come true as #19 hasn't had that much hang time since dominating Double Dribble
  
• 1-0 Halftime
• Multiple chances are missed by the FSFC to put this one away- Paul lets loose on a shot from 25 that destroys the post
• #19 and Hunter get thrown off the pitch for a wee bit of shit talking with the "sweeper"
  
• Guvner forward gets the ball at the 18, turns on Kendall and rips it thru his 5 hole and beats Ken for the goal 1-1
• Minutes later they ring the post and almost take the lead
• Tied with under 10 minutes left, Berardo tapes up Lance and 30 seconds into his playing time he hits a header off the post
• Bobby1 gets loose 1v1 vs the last defender and plays the ball around him and the defender bats the ball down with his hand. PK awarded
• Brady Quinn er Lance steps up to the spot and hammers a fucking 95mph blast just right of center that the keeper never sees
• 2-1 Final
  
• Day 1 complete 2-0-1 7 points and moving on
  

Goals: #19 1(1) Lance 1(3)
Allowed: Ken 1(4)

6th annual Mudbug Massacre:
Party gets off to a disaterous start as 6 oclock hits and the first guests arrive. No kegs, no mudbugs, no wings. Migjet brings a date and boy is she impressed by the kick ass party.

7:00 and the mudbugs and beer finally arrive, but no taps or cups or ice- Hey AWhite, those might be things that would help

9:00 party is full on and the beer is flowing, the bugs are dying and FnJ is rolling.
10:00 Barnes fishes the live mudbug out of the pool and Kendall and Nate offer him $20 to eat it
10:01 Barnes rips the mudbug in half and eats it
10:05 Berryman eats a live one for free
12:00 FnJ still rolling and I will give anyone $50 that can tell me who got the first red card in Churchill history
2:00 Tirres, Paul, Barnes and FnJ are all that standing
2:05 Barnes takes a shower in the pool


120 lbs of Mudbugs
2 1/2 Kegs
Romo's cornbread
Wings
Done!



Game 4 Semi Finals FSFC 3 vs DSG Lazio 2
Specht 12 10:30

• Warmups consist of the FSFC standing around with no opponent
• Tirres is thought to be in the pokey
  
• KBlische chases down a loose ball that the keeper drops, then gets tackled by the keeper for the easy PK call
• Lance steps up to the spot and once again hits a ball that the keeper never sees 1-0
• 1-1 Halftime don't remember how they scored
• Kblische draws another PK as he flips the ball up while on the endline and it is allegedly batted down by the sweeper.
• Lance hits this PK on the ground- the keeper dove the right way only problem was the ball was in the net before the keeper even hit the ground 2-1
• Minutes later the ball gets loose in the FSFC penalty area and instead of playing the ball, Ken tackles Ryan and forward- Ken gets a nice yellow card and big slice of humble pie when the PK whizzes past him for the tie game 2-2
• Pblische lends the FS Sean for 10 minutes and it pays off- Ball gets played in deep in the box, #19 goes up for the header and is wiped out by the keeper who punches the ball out what should have been danger. Sean hits a 40 yard shot that has the keeper scrambling back but he has no shot as the ball lands safely in the net- Game Winner
• FSFC 3 DSG Lazio 2- Finals a cuming

Goals: Lance 2(5) Sean 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 2(6)

Game 5 Finals FSFC 1 vs Dallas ACME 3
Specht 12 @ 2:30

• Dead Legs, cramps, exhaustion is the great reward for making the finals
• Darilek skips the finals b/c his wife wears the pants
  
• Average opponent except they are 20 and under and can run all day
• ACME gets on the board after Ken makes a nice save, Kendall is unable to clear the ball and #9 for the opposing team hits a shot that Nate tries to stop but can't 0-1
• Plenty of opportunities to tie the game, but the equalizer doesn't come until Tirres hits a top shelf free kick that the keeper saves, rebound lands at the 6 where Biz heads it in 1-1
• Mauricio hits a shot that the keeper makes a diving save on
• Maurciio hits a shot that the keeper makes a save on rebound goes to #19 who lays it off to a wide open Paul who choofs his shot
  
• 1-1 Halftime but the legs are dead
• Acme gets on the board again when #9 easily beats 2 defenders and crosses the ball far post and it is tapped in 1-2
• FSFC squander multiple good chances- Lance hits a cracker from midfield that beats the keeper but goes wide by a foot- etc etc
• Did I mention Dead Legs have set in?
• Acme player hits a shot that Ryan gets a head on, but the ball takes an unfortunate route and floats over Ken's head 3-1
  
• FSFC don't have the energy or luck to get back in this one
• Final Acme 3 FSFC 1
  

Goals: Biz 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 3(9)



Tourney Awards:

• Offensive MVP: Captain PK Lance- Missed 6 shots by a total of 2 feet- The 3 PK's he took would have broken the keepers hand if he actually saw them before they hit the net
  
• Defensive MVP: Nate- pretty sure he played every minute at sweep
  
• Goal of the Tourney: Sean's Semi Final Game winner
  
• Pussy of the Tourney: Darileck- skipping the finals b/c you don't wear the pants in the family
• Goat of the Tourney- Paul with the missed PK that made us all tired
  
• Churchill Post of the Tourney: Paul- 35 yard crack in game 3 that rung the left cross bar and went out of bounds for a throw in on the right side of the pitch. The post is still ringing
  
• Quote of the Tourney #1: Kneal's 9 year old ballboy ragging on Ken after the third game- "So you gave up 4 goals?"
• Quote of the Tourney #2: Kendall "My Cramps have cramps"
• Quote of the Tourney #3: Paul " you have cum all over your face" directed at the 20 year old that was a little overzealous with the sunscreen application
  
• Tackle of the Tourney: ?
• Jackass of the Tourney: Berryman- flaunting his Coed medal that he piggy backed his way to winning while we are playing the actual Championship game and then fucking up the Him Toast for the 50th consecutive time
  
• Foul of the Tourney: Ryan Payne- Game 3 loose ball on at midfield Ryan stops the counter attack and destroys the player
  
• Fat Man in a little Shirt: Berryman- when Mauricio borrowed his jersey it looked like week 17 on the Biggest Loser
  
• Jackass of the tourney- Ken for the tackle of Ryan and the offensive player giving up the semi final game tying PK
  
• 2009 Mudbug Champion: UNKNOWN
  
• 2009 Drunken Asshole: FnJ - Must have told the Churchill Red Card story 20 times, the started in the bar business story 15 times and telling Tirres "you could only wish you had great hair like mine at 44"