Spring 2006 Game 8 FSFC vs Soccer Guru "Speetey Berardo Owns You Bitches"

Speetey Berardo, the fastest Italian in all of little mehico has laid down the challenge. Questioned about his speed during the game, Speetey has issued a challenge that he is faster than everyone on the Fading Stars. In order to avoid some embarrassment several individuals have been removed from the competition. However, Speetey says he can definitely outrun some of you fat bitches.
Speetey believes that he is faster than:

• FnJ
• Lilly
• Woodard
• Jacobs
• Darilek
• Barnes
• Jihad
• Berryman
• Bergman
• Tommy
• Romo
• MigJet
• AWhite
• Bodo
• Kendall

Some of you are not going to win, but Speetey thinks he can run the gauntlet and smoke all of you bitches. The challenge has been issued, it is up to you to either tell Speetey on this Blog that he is full of shit or accept the fact that Speetey Berardo can whip your collective asses in a sprint. It is up to you

SAMPLE WUNDERLICH TEST THAT VINCE YOUNG SCORED A 6

On to the game report:

#19 got a new job so he decided to celebrate by purchasing a new ball- little did he know that the ball would soon be retired and put in a glass case for all to admire at the Crawfish Broil.

"The Quickie"

FSFC kick off and pass the ball around, Romo passes to Woodard who sends a ball to the corner to #19, #19 crosses the ball to the top of the 18 to Romo who deftly blasts it into the back of the net.

FSFC 1 Guru 0 30 seconds played

"The Blische"

FSFC dominate possession and work the ball around quite well. Guru pushes a ball through which PBlische easily handles, he passes the ball to Darilek who gets his pocket picked like a white guy on bourbon street. Guru guy shoots from about 40 out and puts it in the net.

FSFC 1 Guru 1

"#19 did nothing on this"

We play, we play we play- FnJ hits a post, game being dominated- FnJ sends in a corner and Romo uses his 4 inch vertical leap to hammer a header, ball hits the crossbar and goes in, Woodard makes sure that the ball is in with a full on header. Goal goes to Romo but Woodard def put in a nice effort

FSFC 2 Guru 1

"The Pool Shark"

FSFC quickly get on the board for the 3rd time. Darilek makes eye contact and sends a ball to #19 who has his back to the goal. #19 puts some Massey on the ball and sends a beauty to Woodard who read the play and made his run. woodard gets a breakaway and chooses to put the ball thru the 5 hole.

FSFC 3 Guru 1

"The Volley"

More dominance by the Stars and the 4th goal is perty one. 50/50 ball is played in to the right side at the top of the 18, #19 battles 6'5 black man, wins the ball with the foot in the face and volleys one over the goalies head-

FSFC 4 Guru 1 HALFTIME

"The Breakaway 1"

Lilly replaces Blische in the net, Jacobs hurt his pussy and sits out the second half. Game action begins several minutes later, # 19 holds the ball and beats the sweeper and passes the ball to FnJ on the breakaway- FnJ makes the right run and literally beats the goalie so bad he walks it into the goal.

FSFC 5 Guru 1

"The Crossbar"

Still kicking the shit out of this team, # 19 gets one on his left boot and pounds it off the crossbar- Jihad takes the freebie from allah and heads it in.

FSFC 6 Guru 1

"#19 does all the work Reza gets easy goal"

The ass kicking continues, #19 beats 3 defenders and sends a cross from the left side to a wide open Jihad. Jihad makes a nice trap and buries the goal.

FSFC 7 Guru 1

"the breakaway 2"

Darilek destroys some poor fucker and wins the ball and begins dribbling up the field. Darilek sees #19 at the midfield stripe all alone and sends a beautifully weighted thru ball. #19 is on a breakaway with a goalie and 1 defender. #19 waits until the perfect moment and passes the ball into the corner of the net

FSFC 8 Guru 1

"Fuck You Woodard, #19 wants a hat trick"

Tommy cements his place on the Fading Stars with a hand ball that gets him a Red Card . Ball gets worked around on #19's foot, having passed the ball only to have 3 people miss easy goals, #19 decides to take matters into his own hands. #19 beats two defenders working the ball left, pounds a shot and cements his place in the FSFC Hall of Fame.

FSFC 9 Guru 1

Barnes gets tossed and Woodard heads the ball 100 yards. Guru team still thinks they can beat us and claim as much.

Final Tally FSFC 9 Guru 1

Goals: Romo 2(2) Jihad 2(6) Woodard 1(3) FnJ 1 (1) #19 3 (9)

Goals Allowed:PBlische 1(5) 1/2 Lilly 0(4) 1/2

Cards
Yellow: FnJ, Barnes
Red : Tommy, Barnes

Player of the Game: did you even read the game summary? 3 Goals 4 assists -- should have been 7 assists but Jihad, Lilly and Barnes choked on easy goals

Quote of the Game: "you can't even see your penis fatboy" #76 halfbreed. "Well, looks like I am getting thrown out" Barnes- then a whack, a push a ball thrown at the guys head Barnes fulfills his prophecy and gets the Red Card.

Churchill Post of the Game: 3 candidates this week FnJ with a left footer, #19 with a left footer blast ending in a goal, Lilly with a one on one hits the post and the goalie wipes him out. Winner FnJ

Goat of the Game: Seriously considering calling this the Jihad of the Game as he wins again. Ball is crossed to you at the 6 with no goalie and you choof the fucking thing off of your shin guard- that is why you play the ball with your foot jackhole-
Close second Tommy with his hand ball and Barnes whiffing on the diving header.

Goal of the Game: Easily the one scored in the first 20 seconds, I believe I saw passing.

Starters
GK PBlische
FB Barnes
FB Bergman
Sweep Jacobs
Stop Darilect
HB Jihad
HB Speetey
CM FnJ
CM Romo
F Woodard
F #19

Subs
Migjet
AWhite
Tommy
Lilly

No Shows

1. Kendall
2. Bodo
3. Berryman
4. KBlische
5. Briana

Spring 2006 Game 8 2/26/2006

NEYSO Specht Rd. #15 SUNDAY
9:00 a.m. Soccer Guru Div. 2 vs Fading Stars

A chance for redemption for PBlische-

In

1. #19
2. Barnes
3. FnJ14
4. PJMD
5. Brardo
6. MigJet
7. Lilly
8. Alan White- unless it is under 50 degrees b/c his latina ass can't take it
9. Darilect
10. Romo
11. PBlische Goalie
12. Bergman
13. KBlische- per alan white
14. Alcala per alan white
15. Jihad

Out

1. berryman

?

1. Woodard
2. Bodo
3. Kendall
4. Tommy

Fading Stars Look Alike Contest 2

think goatee
softball
not the black chick , could be an inactive Fading Star ass well.
Hoo AAHHHH
piece of cake
total package
looks like 2 answers here looking for the best answer

Weekly Links and Pics 9

The Swimsuit Issue is Online

Wrigley Field, where the fans in the bleachers get drunk enough to create their own slip and slide

This is what will occur when Russ visits his sons Fraternity for the first time

this is a really cool, free Internet music site- Pandora.com

We have a special treat this year for those of you attending the Cinco De Mayo Crawfish Party (NSFW)

Chick eats shit on a motorcycle

Early leader in the Father of the Year contest

6 million dollar Honda Ad

and finally
The Gay Test- don't fail, in fact I probably wouldn't click on it-NSFW

Spring 2006 Game 8 2/19/2006 CANCELLED

NEYSO Specht Rd. #19 SUNDAY
11:00 a.m. Soccer Guru Div 3 vs Fading Stars

In

1. #19
2. FnJ
3. Barnes
4. MigJet
5. Bergman
6. Jacobs
7. PBlische

Out

1. Romo
2. Berryman

Spring 2006 Game 7 Fading Stars vs Diablos "Iron Chef Santonio: Battle Man Tights"

It started as a soccer game, but due to the cold weather an epic battle was formed. Today was not about skill on the pitch, it was not about talent, it was not about which team was superior. Today was Iron Chef Santonio: Battle Man Tights. The Iron Chef John Bergman known for his use of sweat pants and a daunting pornstache faced a willing challenger from the Diablos in grey haired Racquetball man(not to be confused with knee pad racquetball guy). Today's categories for judgment are STYLE: which player pulled looked better in his man tights.
Originality: which player took risks.
Game Play: which competitor played better in said Man Tights.
Style: Iron soccer chef Bergman comes out swinging sporting his black Man Tights, white socks and white jersey.
Raquetball man comes out with blue tights, red socks and a red jersey
This one easily goes to Bergman b/c he matched his Man Tights to the Uniform. One could even argue that he was so stylish he looked like the fastest player on the pitch.
Bergman 1
Racquet 0
Originality: Bergman has been sporting the pornstache since his days of active fucking back in the 70's. The tights looked much better than his usual sweat pants attire. Raquetball man: What can you say about a man that can make his 7:10 raquetball game and without the aid of a phone booth put on his Man Tights and make the 9:00 futbol match. The grey hair brought out the shine of his blue tights. This one is not even close
Raquet 1
Bergman 1
Game Play: Towards the end of the match, they finally went one on one. Racquet dribbled the ball through and took it straight at Bergman. Bergman held his ground and stole the ball from Racquet. Bergman was solid all day on defense and when Racquet was moved to goalie he dropped PBlische's infield fly and the ball popped into the goal.

The Winner of Iron Chef Santonio: Battle Man Tights
by a score of 2-1 --
John Fucking Bergman!

Game Summary
Slow start to the game as the referees don't even show up until 9:15 allowing Kblische to gets his first start of the season. FSFC begin the game playing 1 man short and are still able to control the action. When Russ gets to the game after sewing some poor SOB up, the stars have a full squad- for about 3 minutes as Romo sustains a vaginal stretch and is forced to the sidelines. Romo rubs his clit and makes a return visit to the field(btw don't taunt #19 or this is what gets ritten about you). Not much happens, Barnes gets back from church, exercises his lustful demons with a little roadie masturbation and gets to the field just in time to replace Romo.
end of half FSFC 0 Diablos 0
Goalie change Greg Lilly takes over for the napping PBlische
PBlische makes the move to forward and the results are instant- begin to play better with Russ on one half and Berardo on the other. The diablos were finally over matched as the stars finally had a full squad. FSFC move and work the ball down the left and right halves at will- finally resulting in a nice cross to PBlische at the 18 who powers a floater at Raquetball goalie- ball hits him in the hands and chest and pops out and in for a goal
FSFC 1 devils 0
Fading Stars continue to dominate- especially Darilek. Darilek absolutely destroys the fag wearing gloves and skating shorts 5 times in a row. With the middle shut down the stars are able to do just about anything they want. A steal by #19 who gets whacked in the knee results in a free kick. KBlische takes the only play out of the Don Nelson Churchill soccer playbook- a quick restart. He makes a sweet pass to PBlische who is one on one with the keeper - PBlische makes Raquet man look like a retard making love to a popsicle and scores easily.
FSFC 2 los putos 0

not much else happens

FSFC 2 Diablos 0

Goal of the Game: Pblische from Kblische on the quick restart- that caught everyone on the field off guard

Goat of the Game: Jihad just b/c

Quote of the Game: PBlische- dude check it out the guys in tights are battling it out

Yellow Cards- none

Red Cards- none

Goals: Pblishce 2(2)

Goals allowed: Pblische 0(4), Lilly 0(4)

Starting Lineup:
GK Pblische
FB Lilly
FB Bergman
Sweep Tommy
Stop Darilek
HB FnJ
HB Berardo
CM KBlische
CM Romo
F #19

Subs:
Woodard- showed up 15 minutes into the game
Barnes - showed up just before halftime

NO SHOWS:

1. Jihad- said he would be there
2. Berryman
3. Banty rooster Jacobs
4. Bodo
5. Briana Acala
6. MigJet- herpes inflammed
7. Kendall
8. Alan White

Weekly Links and Pics 8

Richelle Monk

George Bush highlight video

This is why you should wear a seat belt when running from the police

Brazilian Porn- i laughed for 5 minutes at this one NotSafeforwork(NSFW)

In case any of you sick bastards have a puke fetish, you now have some friends

Check out this crazy parachuter

The sequal to Babe, I like this ending better

this dude can shoot a shotgun

Spring 2006 Game 7 2/12/2006

NEYSO Specht Rd. #16 SUNDAY
9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Diablos

IN
#19
MigJet
Darilek
Romo
FnJ14
Lilly
Berardo
Jihad
Bergman
PBlische

Out
Berrybutter
Barnes
Banty Rooster

Spring 2006 Game 6 FSFC 3 vs Celtics 4 "The Banty Rooster"

"The Banty Rooster"
Unlike the original Kid Banty, who was known to come out fighting every time he hears a bell, our Banty Rooster comes out fighting when he hears an officials whistle. He only makes an appearance once a season and when he does- oh it's a thing of beauty. The Fading Star's Banty Rooster is known to go off on officials questioning their sanity, intelligence, and overall manhood. The Banty is best known for setting the record for quickest Red Card, being tossed and playing a sparce 2 minutes.
Banty got off to a quick start questioning the Ref's ability about 10 minutes into the game. The Banty shouted a disparaging comment from midfield that the ref took offense too. Later, when the celtics earned a free kick, the Banty was hanging out in the celtics huddle. When the ref set up the imaginary wall spot when the ball wasn't set yet, the Banty made some comments that his best friend the ref didn't like and the Banty saw Yellow. Dissent, it's not just the stank from a hookers pussy.
The Banty decides to play the rest of the half and the entire second half with no more incidents. Then with 5 minutes to play and the game tied, The Banty makes a questionable foul on a 50-50 ball in the box. Basically the Banty put his wing into the player and put him on his ass. The ref didn't need to see anything else as he got to do what he had been waiting all game for- Penatly and a Red Card for the Banty. Of course the ref is smiling and the Banty is pissed- forced into exile for the last minutes the Banty Rooster was not a happy camper.
After the game, the Banty Rooster showed some remorse for his red card- the conversation went like this. "You know I should have told him that he has a needle dick and that is the reason his wife is fucking Mobutu- She also, must like to stick her dildo up your ass cause you walk like a fucking penguin. Maybe you should learn to fuck you wife proper instead of getting your jollies fucking up my soccer game." (or something like that)

Game Summary:
Playing the first half into the strong wind gave the Celtics a huge advantage, however the Stars get off to a fast start dominating the early action. Brianna gets a hold of one and she pounds it
FSFC 1 Celtics 0
The celtics come back pretty quickly, stringing together a couple of nice passes and a cross the the 8 which is headed right over Lilly's head into the net
FSFC 1 Robert Parrish sucked 0
The Stars come back and actually string together passes. That is correct the Stars put together a string of passes that results in a goal working the ball from the right to the left to the top of the 18 for a goal. #19 puts one to the top of the 18 where Brianna pounds her second
FSFC 2 Mchales Navy 1
The celtics come back and get lucky on 30 yard shot that the wind gets a hold of and blows into the side netting.
FSFC 2 Larry Bird Lucky Shot 2

2nd Half
the stars have the wind for the second half and pretty much dominate play. A couple of questionable offsides calls slow down play, until the stars finally beat the trap. Ball is floated to FnJ who heads it to a charging Bodo who finally gets his whistle wet and puts one in the net
FSFC 3 Bill Walton Sucks Ass 2
In true Beanertown tradition, the celtics comeback quickly taking advantage of both bodo and kendall missing a steal- player takes it from midfield to the corner crosses it to the 6 where they head it in for an easy goal
FSFC 3 irish wannabees 3
Last 5 minutes see the Banty Rooster story

FSFC 3 Len Bias tries coke 4

FSFC manage to miss enough easy goals to lose this one. The celtics are a good team, but 2 posts and 4 misses from within the 6 does not make for a good outcome. Throw in the wind and playing the 3rd string goalie and you get a loss like this one.

Player of the Game: Brianna, he scored 2 nice goals and absolutely made pretty boy Ricky his prison bitch
Goat of the Game: Romo- for missing a game winning layup at the buzzer. missing from the 6 over the top of the goal. Could have been a hero, you could have been a hero
Goal of the Game: Brianna's finish preceded by 6 passes in a row
Churchill Post of the Game: your choice, either Kendall's blast off the crossbar or #19 shot off of the crossbar. both could have easily gone in and both would have one the game
Yellow Cards: Jacobs
Red Cards: Jacobs
Goals: Alcala 2(2) Bodo 1(1)
Goals Allowed: Lilly 4(4)

Lineup:
GK Lilly
HB Barnes
HB Tommy
Sweep Jacobs
Stop Darilek
HB FNJ
HB Bergman
CM BrianA
CM Romo
F #19
F Bodo

Subs:
K Blische
Kendall

MIA
Woodard
MigJet
Berardo
PBlische
Jihad
Berrybutter
AW

Spring 2006 Game 6 HAS CHANGED

We now play the CELTICS on PEPSI #5 at 11 PM

email me if you get this message

Confirme

1. FNJ
2. Jacobs
3. #19
4. AW
5. Darilek
6. Bergman

Weekly Links and Pics 7

Keely doesn't understand why men like big tits
Wanted to show off my new 70x50 TV(largest in the nation btw)
Steeler QB Ben Rothlisberger- love the shirt- I think we found our new jerseys

Something tells me MigJet will be getting himself a standard truck not safe for work

Don't call me Chris Everett- Jim Rome Classic

Anyone want to go to a bullfight?

What are Jorts you ask?

Lucky goals

Why you don't buy your wife fake tits and let her go party in New Orleans (very not safe for work)

Best Goals- I know, I know,Creed sucks but the goals are fucking sweet

Spring 2006 2/5/2006 Game 6 FSFC vs Medina United

NEYSO Specht Rd. #19 SUNDAY
9:00 a.m. Medina United FC vs Fading Stars

I got nothing on Medina- Plenty of playing time this weekend kids
Super Bowl Party at this shithole


In :

1. Lilly
2. AW
3. Romo
4. #19
5. Barnes
6. Darilek
7. FNJ
8. John Bergman

Out :

1. Jihad
2. MigJet
3. Berardo
4. Berrybutter
   
   

Spring 2006 Mid-Season Report

FSFC 4-1
16 Goals For 9 Goals Allowed
Game 1 FSFC vs Rayodos W 4-0 Goals Jihad 1(1), #19 3(3)
Game 2 FSFC vs Team Peru W 3-2 Goals: Jihad 1(2), Woodard 1(1), Darilek 1(1)
Game 3 FSFC vs Soccer Guru L 1-2 Goals: Jihad 1(3)
Game 4 FSFC vs Horns W 5-3 Goals: Jihad 1(4) #19 2(5) KBlische 1(1) Berardo 1(1)
Game 5 FSFC vs Jolly Rogers W 3-2: #19 1(6), Woodard 1(2), KBlische 1(2)

Roster, Games Played, (Goals)

1. Allen Darilek 5/5, (1)
2. Alan White 5/5
3. FNJ14 5/5
4. Jihad 5/5 (4)
5. #19 5/5 (6)
6. Bergman 5/5
7. Romo 5/5
8. Jacobs 4/5
9. Tommy 4/5
10. KBlische 4/5 (2)
11. Berardo 4/5 (1)
12. Barnes 3/5
13. Lilly 3/5
14. Bodo 3/5
15. Woodard 3/5 (2)
16. Migjet 3/5
17. Berryman 3/5 (5 allowed)
18. P Blische 2/5 (4 allowed)
19. Alcala 2/5
20. Kendall 1/5