+
+ Allen Darilek Injury =
They had a past encounter, when she showed up at the field this morning all she could lustfully recall was their first meeting:
She was hungry, a hungry woman on the prowl. She knew what she needed and she was going to get it. One hot young ATF officer in tip top shape was the goal, all she needed was the opportunity- Then it happens, the strapping ATF officer hurts himself, she rushes over to offer aid- "I am an ER nurse get the fuck out of my way Dr Jacobs" she says. She throws the officer to the ground and begins to massage his thighs- "ugh" the ATF officer replies. "It's going to be ok, here slide your sliding shorts up a bit more, there that is better" she says. "I think I am going to be ok" ATF officer says- "No, I think you need to roll over so I can get a better look-er massage going. "No, Thanks" the ATF officer replies.
A second chance is all she ever wanted, waiting patiently she gets another chance today as the very same ATF officer was playing against her beloved husbands team. The ATF officer once again gets injured, but this time she was prepared and had orange slices to entice her hunted game with. This time the ATF officer was going to say no, he had to say no- She cast a glance over to him but she was unable to connect as a the very same moment his old friend the bricksalesman had distracted her by by kicking her husband in the ass- Instead of getting her game she was forced to defend her wife-- She had her chance, perhaps it wasn't meant to be. Or was it? Where did the ATF agent go after the game b/c we all know it wasn't Bennigans.
GAME SUMMARY
18 fucking players showed up for this one- Alcala and Kendall in the same 6 month period is a miracle, throw in Bodo, Russ, Jacobs and the rest of the guys that miss games and we got us the Immaculate Conception part II.
K-blische gets the scoring going by slipping a beautiful pass through to #19 who casually buries it in the back of the net
FSFC 1 Jolly Rogers 0
Then coach Mig made some subs and shit fell apart. The jolly ranchers counter attack and the Sweeper Briana makes stops the break only to trap the ball and lose it to Jesus Hisself- one pass later and it is an easy goal for the Ranchers
FSFC 1 Jolly Ranchers 1
Next thing you know the stars didly fuck around with the ball, defender falls down and their shittiest player dribbles two more guys and scores
FSFC 1 Jolly Hackers 2
2nd Half- the ass kicking commences
the ego less jacobs decides to take command of the defense and push Briana up to the midfield- the result is a 44 minute ass whipping with very little results.
Ball gets nicely worked around and Briana sends one into the box where Russ gets his shiny head on it and flicks it cleanly into the net
FSFC 2 Freddie's Fucksticks 2
More domination- so much so that our stupid ass keeped decides to run all the way up on a corner to try to take a shot- what ensues is a whiff on the shot, ball gets stolen, the the keeper is chasing a player down on the other teams half- meanwhile no one is whithin midfield of the goal. Here is the email i recieved from said goalie before the game"I’m in for goalie. I promise I won’t let a Beckhamesque goal in this game to lose." He tried though didn't he-
Kevin Blische pounds one to take the lead for good with 15 minutes to spare.
FSFC 3 Jamaica's Roofies 2
MVP: Coach MigJet- man was so confident that he had the Stars play with 10 men up 3-2, ignoring the 6 people on the bench
Goal of the Game: Kevin Blische- that was a pretty nice blast and a game winner to boot
Foul of the Game: Barnes gets the ball stolen from him by Freddy- then he whacks ol Freddy from behind, then he wacks Freddy again, the he kicks Freddy in the ass- Freddy falls down and tries to Sumo fight the wrong man- Yellow Card Barnes
Churchill Post of the Game: Tie between Darilek's blast and Romo's rip off of the crossbar
Goat of the Game: Da Ali Jihad- he likes them goats
Goals:
#19 assist KBlishe
Woodard asssit from Briana
KBlische
Lineup
GK- PBlische
FB- Barnes
FB- Tommy
Sweep- Briana
Stop- ATF Date Rape Victim
HB- FNJ14
HB- Jacobs
CM- K Blische
CM- Romo
F- #19
F- Woodard
Bench- Holy Fuck Sticks
Kendall- HB, F
Bodo- F, HB
Bergman- FB, Stopp
Lilly- FB
AW- HB
Jihad- HB
MigJet- Coach DNP
NO SHOWS
Berrybutter
Berrardo
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