Spring 2009 Vids y Mas 6

Mel Gibson's Comeback Role

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Publishers Clearinghouse



Air Jordan vs David Robinson- Who ya got?



New Workout Video for Kids

Spring 2009 FSFC 4 Los Bomberos 2

NEYSO Bulverde Rd. Complex Field No. 5 2.22.09 11:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Los Bomberos

March 4th 2007 was a significant day for the FSFC as it was Kendalls last goal which coincidentally was the last time he admits to getting laid

Let's take a look at what has happened since his last fornication and goal up until this goal and his alleged sex act

• Heath Ledger was not only alive he was spitting on his hand to bang dudes in the mountains
• The Spurs won another Championship
• Jessica Simpson was skinny with big tits now she is Kendall's type fat with saggy tits
  
• Ken wasn't playing soccer and thus not allowing goals off of punts
  
• My favorite Golden Girl, Estelle Getty was still alive and making Wasson hard
  
• OJ Simpson wasn't a convict
• Lindsey Lohan was still blowing dudes and coke
• Berryman began his swinging lifestyle
  
• Barnes was still wowing us with his large man nipples in his tight jersey
• Darilek started growing his comb over
• Kblische was a bachelor and could buy soccer shoes when he wanted
  
• #19 had one of those job things
• Tommy, Berryman, Jacobs, FnJ, Joel Osteen, PLopez, Nate, double dave all scored goals during kendalls pussy drought
  
• The fading stars were a championship team
  

Game Summary

• FSFC put out a solid starting lineup with an excellent bench- Windy conditions and Kblische picks to play into the wind 1st half
• 10 minutes in, the FSFC get the first breakaway as #19 plays Kblische thru- Kblische hits a low far post shot that the keeper gets a paw on
• Minutes later the FSFC win a free kick at midfield- ball gets chipped long to a wide open #19 who is 1v1 with the keeper and he uses his club foot to deftly chip the keeper and of course the goal
• FS are pretty much controlling the play and the defense is not really giving up great scoring chances
• BizMarkie joins the fracas and gets loose down the right side and crosses to 12 where Kblische falls down, Bobby1 wiffs and the ball lands at the feet of a wide open Jihad who shoots his load into the parking lot
• 10 minutes left and rapper BizMarkie makes a run down the right side and gets taken down just outside the 18- Bobby1 lofts the free kick to the back post where Kendall gets his big head on the ball and heads it straight up into the net. Kendall gets some trim 1 Bomberos 0
• 2 minutes to go and the bomberos are parked inside the FSFC box- FSFC miss 5 opportunities to clear the ball and Neo gets the ball at the 18. #19 stupidly follows the orders of Sensai John Kreese and sweeps his leg. Ensuing free kick goes over the wall, hits Berryman in the hands and he is unable to keep it out of the net
  
• Kobra Kai 1 Bomberos 1 Halftime
• Kblische and Kendall try to get under #19's skin by feeding quotes from Neo- is it possible to a be a hippie and a Republican?
  
• FSFC come out and absolutely work over the bomberos- ball moves from the left half to the right half, back and to the left, over to the Romo up top on the left half who plays a thru ball to #19 who says screw the far post and on the ground rips one near post high
• FSFC 2 Ted Kacinzky 1
• Just minutes later the run of play continues to be dominated by the FSFC and Jacobs plays a ball to Kblische who dummies the ball and #19 is off to the races again shooting this time with his healthy foot easily beats the keeper FSFC 3 Fireman? 1
• The onslaught of missed opportunites begins again when Romo gets free 1v1 and his shot is saved by the keeper bounces off the post where #19 chases it down turns and passes to Romo standing solo at 8 and he proceeds to deftly shoot the ball at a car
• Jihad works his arse off steals a ball at the end line from the keeper and defender dribbles unabated down the endline towards and empty goal and shoots the ball parallel to the goal line
• The Bomberos attack after being given a huge life line- the sweeper takes a shot from the right 18, catches the wind perfectly and the ball happily nestles in the back of the net
• FSFC 3 Bomberos 2
• Its a game again- FSFC defend some corners, Berryman makes some saves, Kblische misses a breakaway, Romo gets another shot saved, Jacobs gets indecisive and blows a pass.
• Bobby1 gets the idea with 7 minutes left he can come in the game for #19. What the fuck man? Oh nevermind, Berryman punts a ball deep- Bobby1 causes a fracas between the defender and the keeper, ball squirts losse where Bobby1 corrals the ball and gently rolls the ball into the open net. Nice job coaching #19 FSFC 4 Bomberos 2
  
• Final FSFC 4 Bomberos 2

Goals: Kendall 1(1) #19 2(5) Bobby1 1(2)
Assts: Bobby1 1(4) Romo 1(2) Jacobs 1(1) Berryman 1(1)
Allowed: Berryman 2(3)

• Defensive MVP- Kendall hurt arse and all
• Offensive MVP- Bobby1
• Goal of the Game: #19- not because it was a spectacular finish, but the passing leading up to the goal was the best in years
• Players of the Game- Bench- FnJ, Double Dave n BizMarkie- solid play
  
• Goat of the Game- Berardo- I have never seen a throw in go 1 inch before and be caught by the thrower
• Its good to be above .500 for the first time this season
  

Lineup

GK Berryman
FB Jacobs
FB Kneals
SW Kendall
ST Darilek
HB Jihad
HB Berardo
CM Kblische
CM Bobby1
F #19
F Romo

Bench
FnJ
Double Dave
BizMarkie

Spring 2009 Vids y Mas 5

USA vs Mehico Highlights



Here is the aftermath


FSFC Management has a new mandatory video



Jap Obama



New Sony something or other



For those of you that missed the Super Bowl VERY NSFW

Spring 2009 Game 5 FSFC 2 Caracole 5

NEYSO Specht Rd. Complex Field No.10 2.8.09

11:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Caracole FC



Game Summary
1 picture to summarize the game- everything that can be done wrong is shown here. The guy is wearing a Brandeise Blue sweatshirt with 1 Hot pink sleeve and 1 sleeve Chartreuse (yellow for you color blind people) - notice the gray pornstache, flat black hat, polyesther slacks and penny loafers. Amazing this guy was alone at hooters enjoying a wrapped single beer, not watching the game on the tv 2 feet from him, but pretending to watch another tv but really staring down all the waitresses.

That shirt is almost as bad as the goalie scoring on a punt, a ball going thru the 3 foot hole in the wall, scoring a header from the 18 on your own goal, the ball sitting at the 6 with 3 people watching it, and pulling a trap when they have the ball inside the 18.

Here is the theme song for the defense




Final FSFC 2 Caracole 5

Goals: Kblische 1(3) BizMarkie 1(3)
Allowed: Ken 5 (13)

Yellow: #19 1(3)

Goal of the Game: Kblische- FSFC work the ball around the field, ball gets sent to Bobby1 who heads it to a wide open Kblische in the box who slips, cuts and hits his shot into the side netting

Defensive MVP: Ken- made 3 great saves

Goat of the Game: Ken- gave up 4 shit goals

Horse Shit Play of the Game 1: Tied 2-2 and controlling the game, the FSFC earn a corner that results in a shot saved by the keeper. Keeper punts the ball high and far that leaves Bergman and a craphole player chasing it- ball heads towards Ken who calls keeper, goes up for the ball, braces for a collision that never comes and the balls goes over is head and into the net

Donkey Balls Play of the Game 2: down 3-2 Berryman tries to give up a PK by fouling the player in the box- Ref gives the kick on the right side just off the 18. #19 sets the wall with Jihad and Berryman on the end. Ball is shot right at Berryman and Jihad, but Jihad jumps out of the way and the ball goes thru the wall and beats Ken.

Pedophile on Myspace Shit Play of the Game 3: Bobby1 commits a shirt grabbing foul at midfield- Ball is sent to the 18 where Berryman deftly heads the ball and easily beats Ken for the goal

So pissed I can't even Masturbate Play of the Game 4: 0-0 game, ball gets weakly sent into the box, Ken calls for the ball as it bounces at the 6, Double Dave watches as Ken doesn't move, and the forward taps the ball into the net

Quote of the Game: Berryman "Fuck this I am done" After his brilliant header beats his keeper for the well played Own Goal

Hooters MVP: Ken- fucking guy picked up the tab to make up for his less than stellar game

Lineup
GK? Ken
FB Bergman
FB Berryman
SW Jacobs
ST Kneals
HB BizMarkie
HB Jihad
CM Romo
CM Kblische
F #19
F Bobby1

Bench
Double Dave

Spring 2009 Game 4 Intl Old Boys 2 FSFC 1

Schertz Soccer Complex Field No.13

9:00 a.m. Int'l Old Boys FC vs Fading Stars

Lineup

GK Ken
FB Bergman
FB BizMikee
SW Jacobs
ST/CM #19
CM Bobby 1
HB Jihad
F Kblische

Bench
AWhite
Berardo

Game Summary

• FSFC start the game with 8 and are praying someone else will decide to get off of their arse and show up
• Despite playing attacking a team with only 7 field players, Intl is unable to do shit except miss traps and shank shots for the first 15 minutes-
  
• Early fouls are a must when short players as it lets the other team know you aren't going to back down-
  
• Berardo shows up making 8
• Despite playing short, the FSFC have better opportunities and are abusing the slow Intl defense with 1v4 counter attacks
  
• Early fouls are a sin when playing 10 vs 7 and Intl is sinning like Henry VII, fouling Kblische 40 yards out- BizMikee hammers the free kick and it easily beats the keeper , but sadly it rises at the last moment and rings the crossbar-
• Intl corrals the rebound and attack 6 vs 3- ugly orange shoe guy beats bergman 1v1 and gets a cross off- Ken tries to punch the cross and misses like a Buffalo kicker and the ball lands on the foot of a wide open Intl player who hits the open net Intl 1 FSFC 0
• Awhite shows up making 9
• Intl scores again on a shot the wind batted down nicely and easily beat a cheating Ken Intl 2 FSFC 0
• Game is 2-0 but clearly the difference is the # of players on the pitch
  
• Bobby1 gets loose and gets taken down from behind, inside the box, but b/c it was superstar referee that made the tackle no PK and only a yellow card
• Halftime FSFC 0 Intl 2
• Starting the half 10 v 11 makes a difference as Intl bad passing and worse shooting lead to only 1 scoring chance the entire 2nd half
• Ball gets worked around to Jihad who makes a cut back from the left half and crosses to right half where Awhite uses the extra grease from his shit taco restraunt to chase down the ball- Awhite corrals the ball and hits a near post cross to the boot of Bobby1 who deftly re-directs the ball easily beating the keeper FSFC 1 Intl 2
• 10 minutes to go and Kblische takes on 3 defenders and goes down in a pile of shit- the makeup PK is awarded- The defender that fouled Kblische screams "You Mother Fucker, blah blah blah" at the referee- Ref only gives a yellow card- #19 approaches the ref that is being accosted and screamed at by 3 Intl Players and casually points out that the player just called him a Mother Fucker-
  
• 2 Intl players must have had their wheaties b/c they get in #19's face and act all tough which is really hard to do when your British and your soprano voice sounds like a pre-pubesent David Beckham- unfortunate to the badass that likes to shove he only got a yellow card and his balls still haven't dropped
• Everything was setup for the ultimate outcome- down 2-1, playing short all game, Kblische on the penalty spot with a chance to tie the game--- Then Kblische channels his brother and hits the ball down the middle waist high for an easy save
• Instead of rejoicing in the save, **World Cup superstar Lavery decides to yell at the ref some more and picks up a yellow card, but being the nice guy he is he says thank you
  
• Missed PK pretty much ends the game
• Intl 2 FSFC 1 FINAL

Awards and what we learned

• We should have lost 5-0 playing short, but the 8 guys we had to start the game played 90 minutes of solid futbol and the 2 late arrivals would have changed the outcome if they could read a fucking clock
• Kendall was too injured to play, however he can still dance
• Players on the shit list for not giving any kind of notice of their playing status- FnJ, Double Dave
• Communication is still horrid in the back- When the Sweeper or Keeper call for the ball, stop what you are doing and mark up

Awards:

Offensive MVP: Bobby1- Lone goal and drew what should have been a PK- Kblische and Bobby played 2 v 6 the entire game and played well

Defensive MVP: Jacobs- kept it together even with a stopper that had no idea what he was doing

Foul of the Game: Jihad- Jihad gets leveled on a 50/50 ball vs the counting crows lead singer, Chili who sports shitlocks. Shitlocks then engages #19 1v1 and tries to play the ball wide and run on to it. #19 beats him to the ball and is shielding it and just as it rolls out of bounds #19 goes down from a tackle from behind by Shitlocks- only problem was Jihad came out of nowhere knocking the piss out of Shitlocks and into #19 and Jihad is called for the foul and a free kick is awarded just outside the penalty box by the touch line.

Quote of the Game: Jihad- #19 to Jihad "What the fuck was with that foul" Jihad" He fucking deserved it!"

Goat of the Game: Kblische- this is tough as he busted his ass all game but, you just can't miss the PK so badly-

**Editors Note: After the game, Lavery approached #19 and thanked him for a nice game, however he refused to compliment him on the outstanding game summary from the last match**